We built and played the worst golf course ever and it was all your fault | Fumble Dimension Ep. 4

(upbeat music) – [Kofie] Golf, a sport where you watch it on TV and maybe think that you can play as well as some pros. But after you take some swings yourself or play Top Golf with your buddies, you realize that it’s actually one of the hardest sports to play. So me and John decided to find a way to make it even more difficult. After taking some time to research, doing some experimenting, and having a lot of input
from our lovely fans, we made the worst golf course of all time. Welcome to the Fumble Dimension. (upbeat music) While wrapping up the Head
Coach Fumble Dimension, Jon and I were doing what we do best, cruising the internet
for the weirdest stuff. We then stumbled upon a game called The Golf Club 2019, and while it doesn’t have golf legends like Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson, it does have something way more important, an extensive course designer. And if that doesn’t
scream Fumble Dimension, I don’t know what does. While experimenting and playing around with the creator, we decide
to open up the course to have our lovely fans
tell us what to put where for holes one through 17. We left hole 18 to ourselves because one, we thought the input data
would skew to hole 18, and two, we just wanted to
leave some fun for ourselves. Now, if you’re watching this video now and you’re upset that you
didn’t get to participate or you didn’t know how, I understand. So follow me and Jon on Twitter, sub to this YouTube channel, and go to sbnation.com for all your Fumble Dimension related stuff. And now that I have told you
this, you have no excuse. Now, the responses were
good for the most part. A majority of you follow directions, but some of you decided to send us things that either weren’t possible or were too complicated to a point where I just didn’t feel like doing it. – [Computer] Make a labyrinth
maze using fences, billboards, building, any solid, large, flat objects. Start by surrounding
the tee with billboards and build a maze to the hole that has as many turns and wrong turns as possible. Make the walls high
enough so you cannot chip out and have to play the maze. Ideally– – With the abundance of responses and the fact that we only
had 17 holes to work with, I did my best to accommodate every entry. For example, if you wanted an animal in the same place as a building, since the building takes
up the entire spot, I would try to put an animal as close to the designated spot as possible. We also had a few guidelines
for the rest of the holes, but the only main one is
that it has to be possible to put the ball in the hole. If someone asks for a city
building on top of a hole, I wouldn’t be able to do it. So this course took me eight days to make, and honestly, thank you
guys all for your input and advice to make this course possible, unless you didn’t follow the directions. I made an article and
stated what was possible, and people still kept adding
stuff that wasn’t possible. So of course, I couldn’t
put it in the course. Why does nobody read the full article? Anyway, here’s some data
that we did find interesting. Take it away, Jon. – [Jon] Don’t let all
these charts fool you. This is not an education of any kind. We have learned nothing, and you will learn nothing. These are the tallies for all the objects of interest you requested. While we placed all kinds of different kinds of things on the course, we’re only showing the most popular and important items here. All the animals, of course, plus cars, ships, planes,
bridges, buildings, and because you all clearly are in love with stop signs, stop signs. In the first hole alone, there were nearly 30 requests for stop signs. We should have taken the stop sign as a sign we should stop, since that is literally
what a stop sign is, but we pressed on. More accurately, Kofie pressed on, meticulously adding features
to your exact specifications, or at least as close as he could get. Your requests were all over the place. On most holes, there were no bees, but on hole six there were
six requests for bees. The bees don’t impact
game play whatsoever, but y’all really seem to
think they’re important. You’re the boss, and you know what, I’ll have you know you really
made a mess of this place. We received more than 1,500 requests, and each of them came with a detailed reasoning
behind your order. You turned a golf course into a junkyard. But the most popular item by miles, somehow more popular than cars, ships, and planes combined, was the cow. Almost no deer, hardly any
sheep, squirrels, or birds, but for reasons that escape us, hundreds of requests for cows. Well, you know what they
say about broken clocks. They’re wrong 1,438 times a day. Before we go further, we should talk about our prior experience
with golf games. Kofie, have you played a golf game? – Yes, I’ve played Mario Golf and Advanced Tour on the Game Boy. – Okay, I’ve played a couple of versions of Tiger Woods, way back in the day. I mostly enjoyed myself by turning around in the wrong directions and trying to peg people in the head, which you can’t do, so
I kinda stopped playing. (Kofie laughs) – [Kofie] Now, this is a
pretty unique Fumble Dimension in the fact that it’s straightforward. You gave us answers and
we built the course. So instead of explaining all the perils and obstacles it took to make the course, we can just jump into the action for now. And if anything comes to mind,
I’ll just save it for later. And now, it’s time to start the first annual Fumble Invitational. (birds tweet) Welcome, one and all, to the first annual Fumble Invitational. I’m Kofie Yeboah. Jon Bois will be with us shortly. But let’s jump right into it
and start with hole number one. All right, it looks like
hole number one is 267 yards. It’s a par seven. In fact, all the holes are par seven because this course is
gonna be really challenging. So I decided to make all
the courses par seven. I think the five iron will do. (ball smacks) All right, the first shot, ooh, looks like it hits off the building and lands into the forest area. Not an ideal start for Jon. (ball smacks) Did he clear that lighthouse? Yes, he did, he cleared the lighthouse, but it looks like he hit the ball onto another hole on the course. So that’s not ideal. [Jon] This is a par seven for Kofie. He’s elected to play his way
around the office building and he hit the boat. He’s on the boat. Interesting opportunity for Kofie here. Since he’s on a boat, he’s no longer subject to federal, state,
or local jurisdiction. He could build a new society that learned from the
mistakes of the past. If I could change on thing about society, I would abolish selling
tomato paste in cans. You usually don’t need a
whole can of tomato paste when you’re cooking and you’re left trying to figure out
how to store the rest. It often goes to waste, and therefore, tomato paste should always be available in recloseable containers. And he’s chosen to play out. – [Kofie] Now here is Jon on shot number five on number one. He’s in some heavy rough here. He’s gonna have to clear this boat, but he’s too close to the boat to just clear with normal shots, so he’s gonna have to go around. He has to be aware, though, that there’s a rusty
ship on top of the hill. He does not wanna hit behind there. Let’s see if Jon has enough power to clear this boat real quick. (ball smacks) Oh, he kinda short sticks it. It’s a very interesting shot. Does not go far enough, and he is still behind the boat. It’s very unfortunate break there for Jon. Now, we’re on shot number nine here. Six feet away. Oh, just so close there, Jon. Oh, this putting is not a
good look for him right now, and it’s only hole number one. Shot 11, Jon is three
feet away from the tin, and he knocks it in. (crowd applauds) So after hole number one, what are your additional thoughts? – I have 11 initial thoughts, which is the number of strokes it took me to complete that hole. You saw my challenges on the green. All I can say is one of my favorite sports maneuvers in a
movie that I’ve ever seen is from one of the worst
movies of all time. Have you seen “The
Legend of Bagger Vance?” – No. – It’s an awful movie, don’t watch it. But there’s one scene where Matt Damon just guns it directly at the flag and should have hit it
40 yards past the flag. Instead, it literally runs into the flag and drops into the hole
at 50 miles an hour. And that’s what I was
trying to accomplish. I accomplished nothing, but. – I learned that there’s
a Matt Damon golf movie that I need to see immediately. – No, don’t, don’t, don’t. It’s terrible, don’t watch it. You don’t watch it either, it’s terrible. – [Kofie] Hole number two is 523 yards. It’s a par seven. It looks like it’s riddled
with a lot of buildings You have some wind turbines, and of course, we have a
lot of cows on this fairway. And of course, you’re
gonna have to watch out for the water which has
a floating house display, some clubhouses, but after that it’s pretty smooth sailing. You have a lot of space, and then you have a bunch of kangaroos. – [Jon] We’re at hole two now. Kofie first needs to
navigate this airplane as requested by valued
internet user Ginandjuice and the ship as requested
by Tim Schnitzel. And Kofie has hit the building, requested by an anonymous
viewer who explains, “Because Jon, Kofie, I love you. “And suffering will make
you build character.” It seems to have the opposite effect, as my affection for the human
race is flagging very quickly. – [Kofie] Jon’s in some heavy rough, 196 yards from the flag. (ball smacks) So lob wedge, ooh, looks
like it’s not enough power, and it’s going to roll all the way down the hill for a hazard. And now we’re back on Jon. He’s on shot number seven here, and he looks like he’s gonna use a driver in the heavy rough, which is an interesting decision. Let’s see if he clears it. Ooh, looks like there’s not
enough elevation yet again, and the ball will roll down
for yet another water hazard. This is a very unfortunate
display here for Jon. So Jon is gonna use the
five iron for this shot, or the six iron, my bad, I apologize. He’s gonna try to pitch it over. Nope, gonna use a normal shot. He’s gonna go back to the pitch. He is deciding to swing pitch and normal, and he’s gonna go with the pitch. And I don’t think there
was enough power there. Yep, it goes off of the canyon, and falls back into the water for yet another hazard. So what was your thought
process behind hole two? – Well, tell you what,
this was the most humbling, it was the first humbling
moment of the course. I was previously thinking, you know what, they’re gonna mess up this course, right, and it’s gonna be a little comical and I’ll run into a few things. But otherwise, it’s gonna
be a normal game of golf. This one, I ate shit. I ate shit. It was a 19-stroke hole for me. – That’s tough.
– Yeah. Stroke nine now, Kofie looking
to settle for a double bogey. These kangaroos are courtesy
of an anonymous viewer who says, “A kangaroo beside the hole “would be totally Aussie, mate.” Oh, I bet I know where’s he’s from. I bet he’s from Australia. Looks like triple bogey for Kofie. – [Crowd] Oh. – [Kofie] All right, we’re
gonna catch up with Jon. It took a couple of strokes, but now he’s on shot number 15 here, 52 yards away from the tin, and he used the lob wedge. And a great shot there. Oh, knocks out a kangaroo. That’s a very unfortunate development. Someone should have told it to watch out, but other than than, good shot, Jon. And now we’re on shot number 16. The kangaroo still has not gotten up. We should probably get
some medical attention as we’re done with this hole. Jon is gonna use the putter. He’s gonna account for
the break of this green. Let’s see how he shoots this one. – [Crowd] Whoa. – [Kofie] Ooh, it looks like
too much juice on the shot. It was 16, 17 feet away,
and he hit it 37 feet. Not ideal for our boy Jon. All right, now we’re on shot number 18. Jon is four feet away, ooh, and he hooks the putt left. Oh, a frustrating display. – [Jon] Ah, the floating
lighthouses of hole three, one of the hallmarks that
really made this course special. They were famously requested
by an anonymous user. When asked why, the
response was only, “Safety.” I don’t know how they’re
floating up there, but they’re really putting
the light in lighthouse, don’t you think? If I had any friends, that’s the sort of joke I would tell them. – [Kofie] It looks like Jon is gonna go with the nine iron here. Ooh, it looks like he hooks it far right, and is it gonna go in the water? It looks like it is. – [Crowd] Oh! – [Kofie] More water troubles for Jon. We are only on hole number three. Here we have Jon on shot number three. Looks like he’s gonna use the
driver in the heavy rough. Interesting choice. Oh, lasers it over, but it looks like it’s gonna hit the tree
and fall into the water. (Kofie laughs) – Okay, we can talk
about this for a moment. – So what was your strategy behind using the driver on the rough? – Have you ever played those games at bars where you see how hard you
can punch a punching bag? Where you just hit it as hard as you can and it shows you– – Yeah, yeah. – Yeah, and you feel like
a big, strong, cool guy? That’s how I play golf. I just wanna hit it far. I don’t care where it goes. I just want it to go a long way. (Kofie snorts) Dude, is there a problem with that? (Kofie laughs) – Oh, this is gonna be a long day. – For you, maybe, I’m having a great time. (Kofie laughs) – [Kofie] Is he gonna go driver again? Practice swing, yes he will. Another laser shot that just
falls down in the water again. (bird tweets) All right, Jon’s putt,
goes far left again. Looks like he’s gonna go for a
three putt on this hole here. He’s three feet away. And there we go. Splendid, splendid shot there from Jon, and now we’re gonna go
onto hole number four. (upbeat music) – [Jon] After three holes, Kofie already leads Jon by 15 strokes. That’s me, I’m Jon. (birds tweet) here on hole number four,
internet user Jjringer has requested a boat right in the middle of the water hazard. In order to avoid this
boat, which holds a horse, a moose, two alligators, and three cows, Kofie’s shot will need a high arc, a Noah’s ark, if you will. And he’s made it. Kofie now on just his
second shot on a par seven. He has a chance at an
extraordinary quadruple eagle. Horse is dead. (crowd applauds) (bird chirps) – [Kofie] All right, Jon’s shot, ooh, it hits off of a house, and is it gonna go into the water? I lost track of the ball. Completely do not know
where this is gonna go. And oh my, it lands next to a bunker. And it’s actually only 36
yards away from the hole. I do not know how Jon did that. I don’t know where that ball went. – I have no clue. I have no clue, but it resulted
in me shooting a three. It’s the only normal score I had, and it happened because my ball teleported into another dimension,
the Fumble Dimension. (Kofie laughs) – I knew you were gonna do that, and I was just like, “Hey,
that’s the name of the show.” (Kofie and Jon laugh) Where’s that from? – What a good show. What a good show this is. (Kofie laughs) Just to the right of the
fairway on hole five, an anonymous viewer has
requested, quote, buildings. The only explanation given is, quote, “I don’t know LOL.” This, of course, is how the
city of Houston was built. Oh, tough shot. – [Kofie] All right, here
we are on shot number 15. Jon still has not cleared
the water part of this hole. It’s interesting to see
what he’s going to do to clear this floating hedge maze here. Is he gonna go down to the wedges? He’s gonna go with the putter. Interesting choice. It seems like Jon is going
to try to putt himself into better shot position. It’s an interesting strategy, and we have to see if it works. Well, it looks like we’re in the exact same predicament
as the shot before. And Jon is now gonna have to watch out for the floating flat water level here, and the flag is surrounded by heavy rough and some water coolers, it looks like. So looks like Jon is going to lob it. Oh, he’s gonna use the
putter in the heavy rough. Let’s see how this goes for him. And, oh, goes two feet. Not making any progress there, Jon. (Kofie laughs) All right, so in case you’re wondering, the flat water came from
the Twitter user Juleembiid, and the reasoning behind
it was I don’t know. – Yeah, it’s weird because
the rest of this course was so well thought out. You can tell, there was
almost like a Steve Jobs-level care taken into every little
stroke of this course, every barn and every
cow and every outhouse was placed just so meticulously, only to be completely undone
by this selfish individual who had no rationale. He said, “I don’t know.” Shameful. – Nothing’s more dangerous
than someone with no plan. – Is that the Joker? – No, Joker’s like you add a little chaos and everybody loses their minds. He was at the hospital. – Oh, man, it’s the Joker. – No surprise, I’ve been
employed SBH for three years. I am the Joker. (Jon laughs) All right, now this is shot number 26. It looks like Jon is gonna use
the lob wedge for this one, and he, ooh, that’s a big windup, and oh my God, hits it
into the water hazard. And now he has to start from
outside of the water again. (Kofie laughs) All that work.
– Yeah. You have been suspended by the PGA for your unprofessional
conduct in the analysis booth. – Totally worth it. He’s just gonna slowly
but surely putt it in. Ooh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
ay, ay, oh, oh, okay. Jon is gonna slowly but surely putt it in. Gonna use more power this time
and hit the ball four feet. Ooh, now we’re talking. And now we’re in shot number 35. Jon has an easy shot to the tin, and he’s going to knock it in. So yes, 35 shots on hole number five. Not ideal for Jon. All right, now we’re back on hole number six, 446 yards to go. Let’s see what Jon’s gonna do. There’s a big ship to the right of him. Looks like he’s gonna use
the gap wedge for this shot. (ball smacks) Interesting choice there, Jon, and he lands on top of the ship. All right, now we’re on
shot number two here. Jon is plus 51 through five holes. The elevation might help out. He’s gonna go with the three wood here. Looks like he’s gonna hit some trees and, ooh, land into the water yet again. You hate to see it. All right, we’re on
shot number eight here, and Jon is in front of a tree. Looks like our camera crew can’t move around the
tree for this, I guess, but yeah, there is the green right there. It’s on elevated surface surrounded by horses, crocodile, and whatnot. (ball smacks) Let’s see if Jon can clear this shot and head straight for green. Ooh, looks like it’s gonna hit a cow, cow’s gonna fall down,
and go under a building. Oh, this looks like a
very unfortunate location. All right, here is Jon now, and it looks like Jon is under a helipad. I don’t know how he’s gonna get out of this predicament here. There’s some cows, there’s some
moose, and he’s in a bunker. Look, it’s interesting way
how he changes his shot, how he jumps on top of the
helipad to change his aim. Very, very weird technique
there by Jon to align his shot. – [Jon] Hole six now, we’ve got a crowd in the middle of the course, and this one is right on the money. First drive off the tee hits
this man right in his wiener. – [Kofie] It looks like Jon’s
gonna use the sand wedge and not make much progress. Only four yards, ooh,
three yards on that shot. And we’re still in the exact
same place that we were before. All right, here shot number 10. Looks like Jon is gonna try to get out of the bunker this way. Let’s see if he can clear it. Oh no, looks like he cannot
shoot through the helipad, which is very, very unlucky. Let’s see how many strokes it’s gonna take for him to escape. Okay, here we are on shot number 11. Jon’s gonna use the
sand wedge, looks like, to get out of this bunker, and, oh, only goes two yards. It seems that the ball
hits off the helipad and goes right back in the bunker. We could be here a while. (ball smacks) – [Jon] Cows are dead. (crowd applauds) – [Kofie] All right, we’re
on shot number 15 now, and nope, no progress being made. The ball only goes three inches. That is terrifying. Okay, so the helipad was
introduced to this course by the Twitter user Lexcroto who said, “I’m really hoping it
comes with a helicopter, “and if it takes off and lands, “that would be a lovely bonus.” Little did they know. – Helipad, more like hell, actually no, that’s good, helipad’s good. – Helipad, more like– – I was gonna put hell in it, but hell’s already in it, so. – Helipad, more like hella sad. – You should probably
have my job, honestly. (Kofie laughs) It’s 17 years later now,
stroke 19 on this hole. Let’s putt it in and call it a day. Oh.
– [Crowd] Oh! – That’ll give him a 13-tuple bogey. – [Kofie] All right, here
we are on shot number 19. Jon’s gonna use a pitching wedge, and we get five inches that time. Woo, making some progress here. All right, now we’re on shot number 20. And Jon is just gonna
aim the ball sideways, see if he can get out of
this helipad situation. It’s odd you can phase
through the helipad, but it’s just interesting mechanics. All right, and here’s that shot. It goes four yards. I think he did clear
the helipad this time. It only took him a lot. Oh, I stand corrected. Does not look like he’s
cleared the helipad just yet, but will he be able to
escape it with this shot? We’re on shot number 21. Let’s see what Jon decides to do. I think the main objective
is forget about the hole. He just has to clear this helipad first. All right, 36 yards away from the tin. (ball smacks) Ooh, and he does clear it
and it goes 35, 36, 38 yards. – [Jon] Quick look at the leaderboard now. Kofie leads, shooting
71 through six holes. Jon is far behind at 111. He appears likely to go
over par on the course on just his seventh hole. – [Kofie] All right, shot number seven. Jon uses the driver and
goes off of the building in back to get more space, I guess. I don’t know if that was
part of the strategy or not. – [Jon] Okay, so with that shot, I was trying to give
myself some space right? Like I wanted to back
myself off of the building, so I figured the best way to do that was to just whack this
out of it with the driver, send it backwards, and give
myself more space to work. Clearly overthought
this ’cause I think you just shot it over on your first try. – I think I did, yeah. I’m just gonna go with that. – You’re just gonna play it cool. Oh, yeah, I’m a normal person who plays golf normally unlike this idiot. It’s fine. – [Kofie] All right, here we’re back with another shot here for Jon. And he chips it back to the tee box, so we are back where we started. (crowd applauds) Interesting development here. – [Jon] Okay, so immediately. (toy thumps) Okay, so immediately
after trying that shot, I realized it was a terrible idea because I was in the rough. Grass is taller and you can
only drive at 50% power. So I then had to use a series of shots just to get myself back to
where I was in the first place. It was a debacle. (ball smacks) It seems as though we’ve stumbled into an illegal crocodile
fight of some kind, and interesting fact about crocodiles is that alligators and
crocodiles are exactly the same. Some people believe alligators and crocodiles are different species. That is not true because crocodiles and alligators are exactly the same. (crowd cheers) – [Kofie] All right, now
Jon here with the gap wedge is gonna have 115 yards,
and he’s gonna try to clear the ring of the tournament crowd here with the helipad floating above. And he does stick it. Very nice shot there by Jon. Love the technique. I’m gonna give props where it’s due. That was a very nice shot around
the tournament crowd ring. – Yeah, best seat in
the house; it’s great. I think they were probably
attending some illegal wildlife fight and our hole
was in the middle of it ’cause you’ve got a very close ring and then you’ve got just
an alligator and some cows. People are going to jail, for sure. (crowd applauds) – [Kofie] All right, guys,
we’re on hole number eight here, 450 yards, but a lot of
water in this hole as well. It does not look like
it’s going to go over well for either Kofie or Jon. This looks like a very, very tough hole. All right, here’s Jon
with the five iron here, hole number eight. He has that wall, there’s
some moose around him. A very interesting shot to see if he can clear that wall
right in front of him. (ball smacks) All right, the five iron. Oh, he does not clear that wall, and it’s going to land
right in some more water. Good Lord. All right, we’re back on square one. This is shot number three here. Is Jon gonna use the nine
iron to clear this wall? (ball smacks) Ooh, that one does have the
elevation to clear the wall. Unfortunately, I think it hit the floating power pylon there, so whoever put that
there, you are a maniac. – [Jon] Here on hole eight, Kofie is currently living a nightmare. He just cannot get himself off the boat. By the way, ships and boats
are also exactly the same. Different words for the exact same thing. (ball smacks) He’s made his way out now. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Do you wanna hear a horrible
naval expedition story? I can tell it really fast. – Yeah, sure, yeah. – Franklin Scott expedition
in the 1850s, I believe. They were trying to find a way through the Northwest Passage to get around North America
from Great Britain, right? So they go, big problem, they soldered their food
cans together with lead, which at the time they
didn’t know was bad for you. It is bad for you;
it’ll make you go crazy. That coupled with a
lot of other roadblocks and obstacles ended up
with them getting stuck that winter while they just
kind of all went crazy. And it ended with them eating each other. Thank you for watching Fumble Dimension. – We’ll be right back. (Jon laughs) All right, Jon is 241
yards away from the tin. He’s gonna use the driver, it looks like. (ball smacks) Interesting choice, and
he hits it all the way, and it’s going to make the green and even overshoot the green a little bit. And you can see the lady in
the crowd shaking her head. But for the Fumble Invitational,
that is not a bad shot. – [Jon] The horses come courtesy of an anonymous viewer
who says, “I like horse.” The ground comes courtesy
of God who says nothing. – [Crowd] Oh. – [Jon] Brutal hole for Kofie, who putts it in on his 21st shot. – [Kofie] And here we are
on hole nine, 191 yards. Jon is in front of a bunch of cows here. But the good news is that the distance makes this an easy hole
and that there’s no water makes this hole a lot
easier to deal with here. So Jon’s gonna use the five iron, and oof, knocks out, is that three cows? He had a three-cow knockout here. But ooh, Jon also clears the
building on the first try. So while some cows did get hurt
in the making of that shot, Jon does get on the green. Very impressive shot there by Jon. All right, here’s Jon’s second shot. There’s a kangaroo in a
boat right in front of him. How the kangaroo got
in that boat, no idea, but he’s gonna have to
shoot through it or over it. Is he gonna go over it? He might hit it, he might not. (ball smacks) Oof, that didn’t look good. Looked like he definitely
hit the kangaroo. Let’s check in on that
kangaroo real quick. Oh, he’s not all right. He is taking a long nap
inside of that boat there. – [Jon] And here it is, a hole
in the middle of a bunker. (ball smacks) Kofie smartly going for
the ricochet off the boat to put himself in position. The ball pyramid is there courtesy of valued YouTube.com
user Panini who explains, “Because I thought it would
suck to make and to play.” Correct. – All right, now this
bunker idea was created by Kingbus5, and he said, “This is a strategy I use when
making courses in this game. “Everyone hates me a lot for it.” I wonder why. – First, that’s diabolical,
and I really respect it. Second, this implies that there
is a community for this game which I shouldn’t knock that ’cause there’s a community for every game. I just find it hilarious
that there’s a controversy in the Golf Club community
in the year 2020. – I like how he said courses plural, so he keeps getting people. – He keeps doing it, and
this community probably has eight people in it, and like, “Larry, you did it again. “This is the 67th course
you’ve made like this. “I’m fed up with it.” (Kofie laughs) He just keeps on doing it ’cause who else’s courses
are you gonna play? There’s only seven other people in the world that play this game. One of them’s Larry. Thanks, Larry. The back nine is shaping up
to be a coronation for Kofie, who leads Jon by 55 strokes, 106 to 161. Jon can only hope that
Kofie runs into a couple of disastrous holes to narrow
the gap because he, himself, is incapable of doing
any better than this. – [Kofie] And welcome back
to the Fumble Invitational. We’ve seen a dismal
display of golf so far. Let’s keep it up with hole number 10. And it’s gonna be interesting
to see what Jon does here. There’s a big hole in the middle here. Looks like he might use the driver. (ball smacks) Yep, hooks it and it hits something. I don’t know what was in front of it, but it kinda caroms off and ends up near the ships and some cows. All right, here’s Jon
on shot number three. The ship is still floating, so this is gonna be a very,
very tough lie for him. (ball smacks) He’s gonna use the five wood here, and I don’t think he had
enough power for this. Ooh, oh, that’s so unfortunate, but he went into the water hazard thanks to the big manmade lake that was just conveniently
placed in the middle of the hole. All right, so if you’re
wondering why there’s a lake in the middle of this golf course, thank RickTheThird who asked
for an astroid-impact crater as deep as the day is long, filled with sand and
patio chairs for sitting. – The reason given is, “I
like craters and sitting.” – So I do have to apologize
because when I made the asteroid impact crater,
water was at the bottom of it because that’s science. – According to this game, what’s the deal? If you dig more than
20, 30 feet underground, you just hit water? – Yeah, depending on how high the water levels were on the course, and the water levels were pretty high at the Fumble Invitational. So whenever you dug,
you just struck water. – That’s great. So the Earth is a sphere of water with a 20-foot crust of
dirt at the edge of it. – Yeah.
– That’s cool. I mean, this is useful for me as somebody who basically exclusively reads Wikipedia and didn’t attend college and stuff. I find this really enlightening. I don’t know where else I’m
gonna get this information. – It’s also scary how we don’t really know what’s in the ocean. We only know 10% of what’s in the ocean ’cause the rest of it’s
too deep to study, yeah. – And you know what? Not only that, we haven’t
even been that far. Have you been super far underground? I haven’t.
– No. – I wouldn’t want to. I mean maybe we don’t
know what’s under there. You think it’s flat? Never mind.
– No. – [Jon] Hole 10, Holeten Caulfield. Something to think about. (ball smacks) Putts it in for eagle. (crowd cheers) – [Kofie] It’s going to
be interesting to see what Jon does for a hole 11 here. Looks like some animals might get harmed in the making of this shot, and oof, down goes another cow. And this ball is going to hit a tree, which actually might have
been better off for him ’cause that ball may have
rolled into the water. – [Jon] 216 yards to the flat on 11. Dead moose, dead cow. Kofie, Kofie, what are you doing? Stop it, stop it, it’s dead. Leave it alone, stop it. – [Kofie] All right, we’re
on shot number two, hole 11. 146 yards away from the hole, but he has a couple of
ships to watch out for, including one that floats. Depending on what club
Jon’s going to use here, ooh, looks like he’s
favoring the eight iron. Let’s see if he can
clear the floating ship. (ball smacks) And he hooks the shot far right, and it hits the floating ship. And I don’t know where
this ball is going to land, but it does not look ideal. Now, I just wanna talk about
Jon’s mastery of the shot here. He is in the boat. The ball is clearly under the boat, and he’s still able to
make contact with the ball. – Can I talk about the
dead cow for just a second? – Yeah, go. – So I was thinking about that. We killed a lot of cows. We probably killed 25
cows, if I had to guess, between the two of us. And I was thinking about
the person who’s job it was to animate a dying cow. And I wonder if, he or she,
they tell that story at parties. (Kofie laughs) I wonder if that’s
something they bring up. – The funniest part of the dying cow is that the ball just phases through them, but they still fall over. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s like in one of the “Star Wars” movies where they lightspeed ran the ship. I think it was either “Star Wars 1” or “Star Wars 2” that that happened. There’s three “Star Wars”
and that’s the second one. – Yeah. – [Jon] Near the hole
now, which once again is in the middle of a bunker. One of these cars was requested
by an anonymous viewer who further adds, “It’s got a CD player.” You know what we could
really use here though is a Gary Player. Dink, Gary Player’s a famous golfer and Kofie isn’t good at golf. – [Kofie] All right, guys,
we’re on hole 12 here. Looks like Jon’s gonna
go with the three wood. (bird chirps) There’s a couple of cows
in the way, some outhouses, and that’s a very, very tough part of the hole to hit the ball on. (ball smacks) Ooh, he barely misses the cow. And he also looks like he
barely misses the rough area. Another water hazard. We’ve had a lot of hazards here. We’ve lost count already. It’s hole 12; it’s a
normal thing at this point. Now, the question is
will Jon be able to clear the ship with the right club? He’s gonna go with the sand wedge and he chips it barely in. Oh, now it falls back onto the ship. – [Jon] Video games. For perhaps the first time, Kofie enjoys an open green on hole 12. Our viewers have shown a bit of mercy by not polluting the green with
whatever they can think of. Enormous opportunity for Kofie, who can put it in for birdie here. Oh. Well, he can still make par, which on this course would be an incredible achievement on any hole. (ball smacks)
Oh my God. (crowd murmurs) With the holes a little less
crowded on the back nine, the scorecard has evened
out for these two. Kofie has finally
surpassed the par of 126. Even after that disaster on hole eight, he’s been automatic, shooting
a birdie and an eagle, while avoiding any double bogies. Jon sucks. – [Kofie] And here we
are at hole number 13. We have a combination of moose and stop signs near the tee box. We have some crowd and (ball smacks) ooh, looks like Jon knocks over a moose. And the ball will hook right and land near an airplane
and some more moose. Now this shot doesn’t
really look much better but he does have more space to operate in. (ball smacks) Oh, looks like Jon hits yet another moose, but he is on to the fairway. Actually, nope, never mind. Just rolls into the rough again. It’s been a common theme here
in the Fumble Invitational. – [Jon] Hole 13 now, oh
good, a bunch of dumpsters. Reminds of freaking Twitter
with all the trash on that site. Oh brother, another day
on the Hellworld website, and he’s completed the hole. That’s too bad, I had 20
more minutes of material. – [Kofie] Looks like Jon’s
gonna use a five iron to try and clear the hedge way and oh, looks like it backfires. The ball goes back into the
forest area and hits a tree. Not a good start here on hole 14. – [Jon] On 14, we have
a levitating building which Kofie can actually navigate through if he keeps his shot low enough. And he has the right idea here. Hey Glen, hey other Glen, hey cool Glen, hey worthless Glen, hey wayward Glen, hey trustworthy Glen, hey wretched Glen, hey nameless Glen. – [Kofie] All right, Jon is a
119 yards away from the tin, but he has to clear
this big container ship and there’s some cows in the way. What will he do? It looks like Jon is
gonna go with the driver? The driver punt shot?
(ball smacks) Oh, (laughs) that was
not ideal there by Jon. Only goes 37 yards and gets him into an even worse predicament. Interesting tactic though,
with the punt shot. That’s not something I
would have decided to do. – [Jon] Kofie now with a
chance to putt it in for eagle. (ball smacks)
(crowd murmurs) (Jon laughs) – [Kofie] All right, he’s one foot away. Jon, what are you doing? Oh my God. (laughs) We have to run that replay back. It looks like Jon didn’t know that he wasn’t using the putter. But thanks to the geometry of
the course, it all worked out. So an interesting thing about
the back half of the course, and actually most of the holes, is that the obstacles
actually helped us sometimes, and that is a prime example. – It was a godsend to me. I mean, obviously, I think I chose the driver there instead of the putter. Is that what I chose? – I think you chose a sand wedge. – A sand wedge, okay. Either way, I picked a club
I should not have used, and lucked out, hit the
fence post and I was fine. Again, I’m going to
object to the fact that you have to select your club carefully because the game’s called the Golf Club and not the Golf Clubs. – [Kofie] All right, guys,
we’re on hole 15 here. A lot of buildings on this
hole, a lot of buildings. And here we have Jon,
ooh, hits another cow. But look how he hooks over the building. Beautiful shot there by, oh, never mind. (crowd murmurs) – [Jon] Kofie teeing off from 15. It’s currently made that
I can use this platform to talk about whatever I want, and I’ve decided to spend a little time talking about chicken soup. Chicken soup is one of
the most satisfying meals you can ask for during
these cold winter months, and this might say something about my rather limited range as a cook, but it’s one of my
favorite things to prepare. Chicken soup is almost
impossible to mess up, but unless you make the extra effort, it can turn out very boring
and lacking in flavor. I’m no expert, nor do I claim to be, but I can still suggest a few things. First, use a whole chicken
and make your own stock. Remove as must of the skin as you can and then set it aside for later. Then break it up, removing the breast meat and as much of the thigh
and drumstick as you can. Go ahead and cut the wings out entirely. Now you’re left mostly with bones which you can roast in the
oven for a half hour or so. Now, you can dump those bones into the pot and cover them with water. Break up a couple stalks of celery and chuck those in along
with a cut-up onion and a few cloves of garlic. Now, one of my secret
weapons here is jalapeno. Cut a couple of jalapenos in half and toss them in to give it some kick. Keep the seeds in because
if you remove the seeds, it won’t do a whole lot. Throw in some black peppercorns and thyme if you feel like it. Bring it all to a simmer,
and then cover and keep it on the lowest stove-top
setting for a couple of hours. Some recommend you wait
a lot longer than that. I’m sure it’s great, but I don’t usually
have that kind of time, and you probably don’t either. Two hours is fine. That’s seven over par for Kofie. We’ll continue this
conversation on hole 16. – [Kofie] All right, here’s
Jon again, 316 yards out. He has a building and
some forest to clear. Will he use the seven iron to do it? (ball smacks) Ooh, looks like he caroms
off the building and lands. Oh, and that was so close too. Honestly, I gotta hand it to him. Using the ricochet, not a bad
move on this side of the hole. – [Jon] And there we have it. Jon is now shooting over 200. It’s quite possible that
no one else in the history of this video game has finished with such a terrible score despite
actually trying their hardest. Kofie may end up having
over 200 as well, however, Hole 18 awaits him, and
hole 18 is terrifying. Kofie at 16 now. So it’s been two hours and you
now have your chicken stock. Pour it through a sieve into a large container and set aside. Clean out the pot and
add a tiny bit of oil, and throw in the pieces of chicken skin. The idea here is to cook
out as much fat as you can. This is going to be kinda fatty soup because fat tastes good. Once you’ve rendered out the
amount of fat you’d like, remove the skin and
add a few chili flakes. Since the stock is already a little spicy from the jalapenos, you don’t have to do this, I like to. Dice some carrots. Let them cook in the
fat for a few minutes, since they tend to take the longest. After a few minutes, dice
an onion and some celery and throw those in. Now pour in just a
little bit of your stock. Not much, just enough to deglaze the pot and scrape up all the
sticky stuff in the pot. A wooden spatula is perfect for this. Whatever doesn’t scratch
up the pot, really. Once the onion and celery
are cooked down a little, pour in the rest of
the stock and add meat. Kofie putts in it for birdie;
congratulations to him. We’ll conclude this discussion on hole 17. – [Kofie] All right,
hole 16’s a simple green. Just a lot of cows; a lot of cows. 14 feet away, let’s see if Jon can figure out where the hole is. And looks like he overshot it
a little bit, by five feet. But that’s okay when you
can’t see the hole at all. All right, here’s Jon five
feet away, simple chip. (crowd cheers) All right, here we are on hole 17. – [Jon] I forgot to
mention that before you pour in the stock, add salt. This is your chance to season
the stock to your preference. Take your time with this. Add a little salt, stir, taste, repeat a few times until you’re
sure it’s to your liking. Now you can pour it in and add the meat. Turn up the stove just
a bit, but not much. You don’t want it
bubbling like a cauldron, but you do want the meat to cook through. After about a half hour, remove the meat and either dice it or shred it up, whichever you prefer. And if there happens
to be any gristly stuff or tendons or anything, this
is your chance to throw it out. Nobody wants that in chicken soup. And now you can toss the meat back in. Now, if you only take
one thing away from this, I hope it’s the important of lemon juice. Chicken soup is infinitely
better with lemon juice. It tastes amazing. Personally, I like mine extremely lemony, so I’ll pour in the juice
from two fresh lemons. Maybe just one will do the trick for you. In any case, what you’ve
got here is a spicy, citrusy, bright, somewhat
meaty chicken soup. You could dig in as is, or you could serve it
with some rice or noodles. In either case, I’d recommend
you cook those separately, and combine them in the serving bowl. There you have it. There are many ways to
prepare chicken soup, but this is my personal favorite. Kofie putts it in for quadruple bogey. (crowd applauds) – [Kofie] All right, ladies and gentlemen, this is what you’ve all
been waiting for, hole 18, or as we in the office like
to call the Hole from Hell. As you can see, there
is a steep sand incline all the way throughout the hole, and a couple of death pits. And then we have a bunch
of gators, cars, and planes to surround the whole back half. And some ball pyramids. All right, first shot. Ooh, caroms off the bridge and goes on the side of the mountain. It looks like Jon is gonna
have to start over here and hit the ball all the way back to where it originally
was on the tee here. (bird chirps) All right, here’s Jon with
a sand wedge up, up, up. Up, oh, hits it and 13 yards. All right, Jon’s here a little
bit too close to the hill. (bird chirps) Needs to create more space. He’s gonna aim to the side a little bit. Luckily, he’s just gonna
barely lightly tap it. Lightly tap it over. (ball smacks) And oh, that was not a light tap. It looks like Jon’s gonna have to start all the way over at the beginning
of the mountain yet again. You hate to see it. You truly hate to see it. – Okay, that was a mistake. I did not mean to hit it
anywhere near that hard. I was just trying to tap it with the wedge ’cause the sand wedge is the only club that you can use up there
really to make it go anywhere. I used a little too hard
and it went off the side. And as I recall, you spent
the next 45 seconds straight just laughing at me. – Yeah.
– I just sat there. – It was funny ’cause I was
like what is he, no way, ah. – Wasn’t funny, did not enjoy myself. – I thought it was kinda funny. – No, you didn’t. – Okay, it wasn’t funny. All right, this is attempt number three to get up the mountain. But Jon has made more
progress on this attempt than on the last two. Gonna use the sand wedge here, and ooh, this looks dangerous. And it’s gonna fall all the way down. Oh my God, gonna fall all the way down. It looks like Jon is gonna
have to start over yet again. Oh my God. Unbelievable development here on hole 18. (bird chirps) All right, checking back in with Jon here, he’s on top of a car and he’s going to, oh, hit the ball right
into the pit of death. (water splashes) So for this part, I did put water there so that there would be a point where we would have a little bit
of forgiveness on this hole. And I’m thankful that that came up. – We didn’t even see that coming, but we didn’t even think of the idea that it would save our place, essentially, and let us set the ball
back up to where we were instead of making us
start from the beginning. And Kofie, I have you to thank for a lot because you probably
saved at least an hour. You tacked an hour onto
my life on this planet just by doing that. An hour’s a lot of time, you know? And I feel like that
hour was given back to me thanks to that accident,
so thank you, man. – No problem. – You’re a good friend. – That’s what I’m here for. – [Kofie] He’s going to
go with the nine iron here for more power, it looks like, try to clear that pit of doom. (ball smacks) And just barely oh, nope, and
this one is not a pit of doom. There’s no water here. Looks like Jon might
have to start this hole all the way over yet again. If it hits the bridge and
lands behind that wall, Jon’s gonna have to
start all the way over. But if he does clear it, it’ll be smooth sailing from here on out. Well, compared to what we’re doing now. All right, he uses the five iron, clears the entire wall. It lands behind the green
and into the forest, but the good news is that
he won’t have to deal with that mountain ever again. All right, Jon is three feet
away from finishing this course and he’s gonna tap it in. And that’s all she wrote
for the Fumble Invitational, as the controller dies,
which honestly is a sign so. (upbeat music) – [Jon] Oh dear. I was so relieved by that. I honestly, by time number
18,000 I hit it off the mountain, I was really beginning to wonder how long I would be in the office doing that. I was genuinely worried
that we might be there until midnight just
doing this over and over ’cause there was no guarantee
I would ever hit it in. I mean, that’s the cruelty of golf, right, is that at least when we were playing 2K, when I played you in 2K and I lost, I knew the game would end. – Yes, yeah. – We knew the NFL season
would end in Head Coach ’09. – That’s true. – There was no necessary end to this. Golf can go on forever and ever and ever. – That’s scary.
– And it’s terrifying. Glad I made it out. Well, Kofie, as is usual
in Fumble Dimension, we are stretching a video game in the way that is was not meant to be stretched, and we are taxing its limits memory-wise and in every other way. And what we hoped to make one course file with hundreds and hundreds of objects suddenly became a lot more
complicated than that. So what did you have to do? – Yeah, so when I got to hole seven, we ran out of objects. There was an object limit. And for 20 minutes, I was beside myself thinking that this video might
not even be able to get done. – Yeah, you asked people
to fill out a form. You did all this work. ‘Cause even through six holes, that was a ton of work you put in to put all this stuff on the course. – Yeah, this course took me
eight days to finish, overall. – Eight days, days that
I told you not to work, by the way, and you did anyway. – Yeah, I did do a couple Saturdays. – Yeah, yeah, so he
sacrificed so much for y’all and was about to lose all of it. – Yeah, ’cause I was on day three by then doing this golf course, and when that object limit came up I was so heartbroken. And then thankfully I realized that you could copy the courses. – [Jon] So you were able to
make three or four separate course files, each one so
one had one through six, one had seven through 12? – [Kofie] Yes. – [Jon] One had 13,17 one had 18. – And that’s why when on hole number one, where you hit the ball
and that hole didn’t have anything on it, it’s because
that was hole 13 or hole 14. So that’s why that hole was blank. So thank God because I don’t know what I would have done, honestly. – I don’t know if you would have ever come back to work, honestly. I might have never seen you again. – I would have chucked the Xbox if it wasn’t company property. – [Jon] So at the end of it, it turns out this course was possible. We could build the course
that y’all wanted us to build. There were a few caveats, right? – [Kofie] Yeah, so I got
a lot of DMs from people that own this game asking if the course would be playable, and yeah, yes and no. So it’d actually be four courses because we had object
limits on for each course. So it’s actually four courses: holes one through six, then
holes seven through 12, holes 13 through 17, and then
hole 18 is its own save file. And the second reason why you’re not gonna be able to play the course the way we did is that we had unlimited shots because we played inside
the course designer itself and we counted the score
on paper ourselves. We didn’t have the game
do it for us because– – Right, we’ve got the
scoreboard right here. – We do have a scoreboard. Because when you played
it as a normal game mode, each hole had a seven over par limit, and we had a decision to make. I told Jon, I said, “Hey, we can either play
as a seven over par limit, “and we’d have replay angles “and it’d be a more
professional-looking golf video game, “or we could play in the course creator, “have as many shots as possible, “and then we just roll with that.” And we decided to go with
insanity over normalcy. – Over polish or finesse
or professionalism or any of those things. – Because we knew that
deep down in your hearts you wanted to see us suffer through this. We know what the people want. That’s why people like this show. That’s– – I don’t like this show at all. (Kofie laughs) I don’t know why people watch it. I mean, maybe it’s ’cause
I’m trapped inside of it and I can never leave, but man. – That’s the lore? That’s the lore we’re gonna come up with? – Yeah, yeah.
– Okay. – We are both tiny men
stuck in someone’s computer. We just show up on the
screen once in a while. Help us, all that. – So yeah, the course is playable, but I don’t recommend it at all. You don’t have to do this. Don’t do this to yourselves. – Nah, I wouldn’t even try. – Yeah. (upbeat music)

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