Cool Kids, Cold Case (Ep. 11) | Fantasy High

Cool Kids, Cold Case (Ep. 11) | Fantasy High

– Arch from the Church of Soul glimmers with kinetic magic potential, as the door to the portal’s
about to happen, you boom! Ball perfectly up in the air. You snag it as this skeleton dives of what you thought was gonna be a portal but instead becomes nothing. – (beep) you, Daybreak. – As he turns around he presents one moment of weakness, it’s all you need for your rapier to flash forward and. (crunching) He falls to his knees. (thudding) You see that Ragh, the
paralysis ends on him and he’s fully dead. – I remummify. (Brennan coughing) – I’m gonna use my whisper of terrors. – Do whatever you want. You can’t tell people
that I (beep) my pants. – You will defend us with your body to anyone who tries to
say anything bad about us. – Also, what happened here? (everyone laughing) (gentle music) (bird squawking) (lion roaring) – Hello and welcome back to Fantasy High. My name is Brennan Lee Mulligan. These are our intrepid heroes. Say hi, intrepid heroes! – [All] Hi intrepid heroes. – I love it more every time now. Guys, last we left off, we were on the blood rush field. Coach Daybreak had been
shot in the back of the head after being stabbed through the neck, after being axed in the back, after being made to
finally (beep) his pants. (Emily and Siobhan laughing) You.
– (beep) that guy. – He deserved everything that came to him. – He did.
– He truly did. – What if he was (beep). (laughing) – You guys stand over
the body of Rod Barkrock who is weeping, terrified of you guys and Fig’s insane, potent, necromantic bardic, fiendish magics. You see that Ragh is just
weeping on the ground beneath you and going,
“Whatever you guys need, “I swear to God, I swear to God, “whatever you guys need,
I’ll do whatever you want.” – Right, I’m not chocking him out anymore? – You can be if you’d like. – I think I let go. (laughing) – You let go, get gets
up and does the like. (Brennan snuffling) – First thing’s first, I need you to, I need you to– – Say it. – Kneel before Gorgug and tell him he’s a big, strong man. – What’s happening? – What? – Seems unnecessary. (Emily laughing) – Ragh kneels before Gorgug and says, “(beep) strong man, dude. “You big strong man,
you took me out, dude. “(beep) took me out, dude, (beep).” – Does that feel good? I can call him off. – It doesn’t feel good, honestly. – Never mind, sorry, I thought
that would be therapeutic. – Just asked him to
apologize and let him– – I appreciate that though. – Since like we’re done here,
would you quit that for us? – All right.
– What happened? – We have a lot of
questions for him, right? – I did get out my flask of dwarven vodka and pass it around. – No, that has friend spell cast on it. – No, no, no.
– It’s a new one. – This is a new one.
– Oh, you cleaned it out? – I got it from the– – Ragh, have a drink with us. (Lou laughing) – You guys are (beep)
freshmen, what the (beep). – Yeah, we’re cool freshmen,
we’ve been telling you. – I guess so, you (beep)
just killed Coach Daybreak. – Yeah because he was trying to kill us. – Speaking of which–
– What was he trying to do? He had this ball, do you really want the apocalypse, Ragh? – What?
– I know you like the coach, but he was
trying to destroy the world. – Noway, dude, what are you talking about? – What did you think was happening? – He was trying to throw us, that portal. – What I think was happening, dude. Dude, coach was like
Ragh, “We’re going, dude”, and I was like yes! And I (beep) got in the
van, and then he (beep). We went to this like
big, it was like a house with like no beds, and so many chairs and like benches and stuff. – Was it in a bank? – I think it’s a church,
you’re talking about a church? You’ve never been to a church before? – (beep) Ragh.
– Don’t know what a church is? – Do you know what a church is? – Dude, (beep) off,
dude, (beep) off my back! – Okay, okay, all right, you went to this house with no
beds, then just benches. – Bench house. – His bench house, what
happened at the bench house? – So the bench house, he went and he like took a scroll, and he did a thing where like the stone got like (beep) sad or whatever, and then we– – And you were able to
pull it out by hand. – (beep). He said, he said “Ragh, flip out!” And I flipped out, (beep) got it out of the wall, dude. – Was Porter there? – [Brennan] Huh? – Was Porter there? The teacher, the barbarian teacher. – You are obsessed with this teacher, he has nothing to do with anything. – I’ll catch him. I’ll catch him yet! – Look Ragh, I have a question, okay? To start from the beginning. Remember that day when, I think, either you shoved into
me and threw my Bible, or someone else did, but you were around. Do you remember that? – The first day of school. – Yeah, the first day of school. – First day of school, oh. I (beep) took the ball, and
I (beep) dunked the ball. – You did. – It was very cool. Look, but about the Bible. – You also dunked a Bible. Do you remember the
second dunk of the day? – [Ally] Yeah. – Yeah, yeah I (beep) chucked your book into the (beep) kitchen, dude. – Yeah, my Book of Helio,
you did, that was great. Did you do anything to the book first, or did you just take
the book out of my hands and throw what you took? – (beep) smack and grab, three points! – I hate you more each moment. – Okay, what– – I was, but I didn’t,
I regret doing that. – Huh? – Did someone tell you to do that? – No, no one told me to do it, I regret it because coach
(beep) chewed my ass out. He was like “What were you doing? “Why did you do that?” And I was like, “She bore
false witness, coach! “I was trying to make you.” – Oh, so coach was really
mad that you did that? – He was so pissed, and he was like, “You have no idea the
forces your meddling with.” And I was like, “I’m
sorry, I’m sorry, I love.” – You love the coach, Ragh? – “Fuck you, dude!” He swings and just clocks. – I will tell everyone
that you shit your pants. – A straight five points of damage to you. – I wanna uncanny dodge him. That still hurts, but I’m gonna, can I grapple him? – Yeah, go for it. – [Zac] What check is that? – That’s an apposed athletics check. – Okay. – Can I intimidate him? (Brian laughing) – You can go ahead and
intimidate him, if you like. – I got a 19. – Oh rad, okay. – I got a, intimidation, I got a 25. – 25. You get up behind him, he’s like, “Get off me dude, get off me, dude! “You guys talking about my coach.” And you walk up in front of him. – What did I tell you? – Sorry, it’s just people,
I’m sorry, I (beep). – Ragh, I’m sorry. – It’s just when people say that I have feelings, it’s like
(beep) you, I never do! – Ragh, here’s– – You should just cry. – Here’s an idea I think
that you should take– – Cry, let yourself cry right now. – Cry. – Let yourself cry.
– Cry. – Don’t bully him.
– It will feel good. – Cry, do it. – Hey.
– Cry. – Crying feels really good. (Brennan groaning) – You see that a, like,
spheres of tears form, and he just squinches his face and like pushes the water back in. – Can I cast a thaumaturgy and have like the sound of like sweet music that you could cry to
just play in his ears? Like sad crescendos. – This is bullying.
– Can I create a minor illusion of– – He hit you.
– Of a puppy cleaning a kitten. – So this music starts, it’s
like distant choral music, and you just see a little puppy cleaning a kitten, and he goes, “Oh (beep). “Natural enemies but they’re
just helping each other.” (Emily laughing) (Brennan moaning) – Whoa!
– Whoa. (laughing) (Brennan groaning) – Is he barking? – Is this what you wanted? – These huge, you see tears with like weird backed up gunk from his tear ducts, they just like sludge out
of his eyes down his face. “What’s happening? “You (beep) hit me, dude, I’m bleeding. (Brennan groaning) “I’m bleeding out of my eyes.” – It’s not blood, it’s
just tears, it was water. – It feels good to cry. – I’m a big man, I’m a big man. – Men cry.
– It’s like if you didn’t jerk off for a while, you
would need to sometimes. – I (beep) jerk off. – Your eyes are jerking off right now. (Emily laughing) – Is that true? – Yeah, you’re coming, good for you. – Oh yeah, dude, (beep),
I’m so good at sex, I (beep) come out of my
eyes when I feel this way. – Are we helping or hurting? – What are you guys doing? – This is not what we wanted. – I don’t know, he hit you. – Adaine, what did you wanna say? – I think that you need to go and work on your emotions, and like maybe you can just like go take a
druid class or something, like plant some trees or some (beep). – (beep). Plant trees, more like (beep). – You’re not cool, okay? (everyone laughing) – Ragh, what else did you and coach do? And don’t just talk about sports. What did you guys do that was like the pulling the doorway out
of the house with no beds? AKA a church, for future reference. – Oh. There was some (beep) like, he told me like if Zayne, you know
that (beep) weird kid? – Yeah.
– Sure, yeah. – If Zayne ever like asked for help, or I like was supposed
to keep an eye on him if he ever like went to a teacher, or looked like he was like
getting friendly with people. I was supposed to (beep) kick his (beep), like keep him alone, like. – Did you ever go to his apartment? – Zayne? – [Brian] Yeah. – No dude, that guy (beep) sucks. He’s lame. – Can I see if he’s lying? – Yeah go ahead, make an insight check. – [Siobhan] Yeah, I’ll do that too. – Five, I think I might, with my, I might get advantage on that stuff or else maybe it just goes up
to 10 automatically on a roll. – Sure. – I have plus eight to
it, so it’s like a 13. – That certainly beats any deception that he would have there. (Ally laughing) You look at this guy, and
Riz, you get a sinking feeling in your stomach, which is that this (beep) is a goon, dumb muscle. – [Brian] He doesn’t know (beep). – [Brennan] Doesn’t know (beep). – Yeah, that’s what I figured. – That’s what I figured as well, that’s why I was trying to help him work through his feelings. – Hey, do you know where coach lived? Have you ever been to coach’s house? – Dude, all the time, dude. Coach would like get me over there, we’d like just dunk a
(beep) bunch of punch, we’d talk about sports and stuff. – Yeah, bring us, let’s go. – Let’s go! – I want punch, let’s go. – Wait, okay, we can go. I just had one more question. Was there ever anyone besides coach like telling you to do stuff? – Specifically dressed like a scarecrow? – Or a porter. – Okay, look it’s not porter. – It’s definitely not porty. – He’s like “That’s a weird thing to ask.” – Why? – Because like coach was the (beep) boss, and he didn’t take shit from anybody, but the day after the (beep) happened with that corn in the cafeteria, he looked more (beep) up and scared than I’ve ever seen him. Like he looked shook, and I was like “Coach, everything okay?” And he told me to hit the showers, and I was like, it’s breakfast, and I was like, I shouldn’t do that. – You just take a shower? – He would tell me to
take a shower sometimes. – How often were you taking showers? – I take like four showers,
five showers a day. – It’s one of his phrases.
– Dang. – He told me to take a
shower after try outs, and I was like “Why
would I take a shower?” – But you actually took the showers? – Dude, when coach says
(beep) jump, I say “Please!” – That’s definitely the saying. – Is coach like your dad? Or like– – What did you say, dude? Did you know that, did
someone tell that to you? – [Zac] What? – Did someone tell you that?
– Is coach your dad? – Did someone say that coach is my dad? – Can I do an insight check, because like what the (beep) is going on? Three. – He goes “I always
thought coach was my dad, “and like, so if you heard anything”. – I don’t think he’s your dad. – I know what it’s like to not– – I was wondering if he was like a father figure to you. – Fully understand who your dad is, and think that specifically
the coach was your dad. – Although– – Been there.
– Yeah, I mean he’s been there. – Ragh sort of like quiets everybody, even though he’s completely
(beep) on right now, and he like, you still have him like this, and he like leans his head around to get his like mouth near, so he can see up into your eyes, kind of. He goes, “Dude, do you
not know who your dad is?” – Not my real dad. – Dude, I don’t know who my dad is either. – Yeah, I mean, it’s hard, right? (Brennan kissing) Oh.
– He gives you a little kiss on the cheek. – Okay. – All right, that feels like a sign that we should depart. – I kind of wanna ride this out. – Yeah, I’m here for it. – I just– – I have so many
questions, and some of them are being answered right now. (everyone laughing) – You just, you get me dude. – Okay. – I’m sorry, I (beep). Dude, I was out of line, dude, and honestly, Owlbears
would be (beep) lucky to have you dude, because you (beep) ran the field dude, and I
(beep) up, I’m sorry dude. – I have one more question. Not Sam, but Penelope, how was, we weren’t at school today,
how’s Penelope doing? – Penelope, she’s all right I guess. She’s like, she’s so (beep) weird, because (beep), like Dayne is so cool. He’s constantly hanging out with (beep) like Penelope, you know what I mean? It’s like okay, she can’t play Bloodrush so what’s going on? – Do you ever–
– Great intel, great intel, thanks. – Do you ever think about, have you ever had any dreams about him? – Dayne?
– Yeah. – [Brennan] Tons, dude! – Yeah, like what happens? – I had a dream where
he was like a unitaur, you know like a unicorn centaur, right? Where he would have like the legs of a horse, and then it was his body, and centaurs don’t wear shirts. – Yeah of course. – And then a phallic horn. – And then he had a
horse, and he was like, “Ragh, I know where our dad is, “you need to get on my back.” – Do you think Dayne is your brother? – He said it, and I got super sad, but I didn’t understand why, and then I got on his
back and we just rode for like forever, just forever. – How were you holding on to like so that you wouldn’t fall off? – I was just normal like horse, but I had my hands wrapped around his like front part, you
know, like human torso. And I had to like be kind of back, scooched back because I was, I was naked so I didn’t have, so like my (beep) was getting hit by like the horse body. – I use message to, in the
quietest little whisper of a voice, as if it’s
coming from his own brain, just whisper “I think you’re gay, dude.” – You see that– – Just really quietly. – He hears a voice, and
you see he just goes. (swiping) (everyone laughing) – Hey, hey, guy, maybe I should– – Shut up, dude! Who said it? – [Emily] Huh? – What’s up?
– I feel like maybe I shouldn’t be just holding him like this. – I mean it’s fine. – This feels like it’s going rather fine. – I think– – I do say so. – Ragh, I think you need to take some time, and you just need
to think about some stuff. I think you’re gonna be a lot happier of a person if you just kind of– – Truly, go see Jawbone tomorrow. – Go see Jawbone. – [Siobhan] Yeah, see Jawbone. – See Jawbone. – Jawbone is seriously, dude. – You should talk about
this dream to Jawbone. – Yeah. – The (beep) werewolf dude? – Yeah, he’s pretty cool.
– He’s great. – He’s pretty rad, right? – I guess– – He does a lot of drugs. – Word.
– Yes. – Dude, Jawbone sounds sick, I’ll (beep) talk to Jawbone. – Yeah dude.
– Yeah, you should. – I think you’re gonna
be a much happier person. – All right, whatever, (beep) losers. Thank you so much for talking to me. – [Zac] I let go. – You’re not a bad guy, Ragh. – Yeah, you’re a good guy. – Ragh, we’re glad we
brought you back to life. – You say that and he just
fully bursts into tears, but he doesn’t, so it’s just. And pure rivers, there’s
not like intervals between tears, just pure
rivers of tears just. – Oh. – No ones ever said that to be before. – We’re really proud of you, Ragh. – [Ally] Yeah. – You showed good hustle out there, man. – If anyone talks (beep) about you guys around them, I’m gonna
(beep) them, all right? – Okay. – Okay, good.
– Yeah. – We’ll just depend on– – I’m gonna eat their (beep) dude. – No, you don’t have to. – Great. – One more time. Just one more time.
– Keep an eye out for us. If somebody tries to like dunk me, just stop it, you know? – Yeah, I think– (beeping) – Get in there. – And like maybe just like listen to some chilling music. – What? – I think we got you–
– Just like, yeah. – [Brian] We’re good. – We’re good.
– Wait, will you tell us where coach’s house is? – Ragh, hit the showers. (laughing) – Before you hit the showers. (Brennan grunting) (everyone laughing) – Ragh just sprints towards the showers as fast as he (beep). – Find out where coach’s house was? – No, I don’t think so. – Don’t you guys wanna go snoop through coach’s house?
– Do you wanna go to coach’s house? – I definitely do.
– Yeah. – Ragh, where does coach live? – He lives down the street, man. He lives over by the
old Church of the Soul. – Cool, thanks man. – [Emily] Thank you. – I’m gonna now enter a period
of down time with you guys. I know that’s a little
bit surprising to say. But we’re going to actually do a little bit of narrative
montaging right now. You guys arrive at Coach Daybreak’s house later that day, and you find an insane (beep) cult, shadow, spikes, dungeony, weird like flagellating religious stuff all over the apartment. You find names of all the people that are in town that are like involved with the Harvest Men. – Oh! – You find all this incriminating (beep). You find research about Hell Mouths, opening them inside a person, preditional contradoxy. You find about opening a Hell Mouth inside of a portal, using a portal to do it. Tons and tons of incriminating (beep). What do you guys do having
discovered all of this stuff? – I think, dude, is there anything about anybody on the police force that is involved with the Harvest Men? Before we decide to call the cops. (dice bouncing) – I think we should call
the cops no matter what. – There are a couple
of people you recognize as being cops that are Harvest Men. You don’t see anybody on there that out ranks your mom. – Okay. – What about Porter?
– Why don’t you just call your mom directly?
– Is Porter on there? – Why don’t you just tell your mom– – Is Porter on there, the barbarian? – You do not see Porter. – Mother (beep). – No one else thought
it was that one time. – He’s just but a human. – Jesus. – He just wasn’t rattled. – He’s made of rock. – He (beep). – Like you too, right?
– Suss out where these– – Yeah.
– He like really liked you and wanted to take you under his wing. – He seemed nice. – Yeah. – Your dad is a demon. Your dad is a demon. – Do you contact– – [Brian] Yes I guess we’ll call– – The ball, it sounds about right. – I guess we’ll call my mom. – Wait, we’re gonna, oh
we’re gonna call your mom. – Should we see, is there anything, so we still have this chest but this like weird dark orb in it–
– I think we should, I think we should go
through the list of people, and go knocking down their doors and I can intimidate them. – That’s insane, they’re adults. – Yeah, there’s a ton of ’em. – Yeah, and I’m a powerful young lady. – I think we call the bald mother. – Right, can we, yeah, let’s call my mom. – You guys, you can go ahead and make an investigate check if you’d like to see if you turn anything particularly juicy. – Yeah, can I do detect magic as well? – [Brennan] Yes, you can. – Investigate, I got– – 11. – 20.
– I got a 25. – Oh baby, yeah, I got a 25 as well. – I got a two, and then that’s
minus one, so I got a one. – I think this house is your dad. (Emily and Siobhan laughing) – Adaine, you discover a arcane lock on a secret compartment
in the back of the place. You open it up, you find tons of personal information having to do with the coach’s whereabouts, stuff about Zayne
Darkshadow, and him funding Zayne Darkshadow’s apartment, like paying for Darkshadow’s apartment. You find correspondences with Zayne about contacting Johnny Spells, and connecting those guys. You also find a bunch of his
personal financial stuff, which may sound a little
bit uninteresting, but you see that Coach
Daybreak was pretty broke, but made vastly more
money than you would think a coach at a high school would make. – Oh. – And made frequent deposits
in a trust fund a KVX Bank. – Can we see–
– A trust fund? – Yeah, baby.
– Can we see where the money is coming
from that he’s like making? – Yeah like was it a pay
stub from the school? – From the school. – So like his salary’s super just high. – So he’s just the coach– – He’s not even a teacher and a coach, he’s just the coach. – But that means someone at
the school approved that. – Somebody on the school
board is paying him. – Right. – Is the trust fund under his name or is it under somebody else’s? – The trust fund has some weird legalese thing that doesn’t appear to have a name attached to it. It’s some protected trust. – Can we see how much is in it currently? Like just an insane amount? – Unfortunately, it was
the deposit amounts. – Okay. – Let’s break into the bank. – Do we see anything about
the missing girls, or Penny? – You see nothing about
the missing girls here. – Okay, right. – Clearly this thing
that he was depositing in is probably like, the trust fund is probably financing the Harvest Men. – It could be one of their accounts, yeah. – Could be that he has a secret kid, or something to do with Zayne Darkshadow, well why do you have a trust fund? Like why does one have a trust fund? It’s like a thing for your kids, right? – Is it his trust fund or is it a fund that he has access to it? Like it could be an accumulative– – But he said specifically a trust fund. – Do we see anyone on the list of names that are sort of involved with this that would be on the school board? – Not that you can see.
– That we know. – Is there any sort of hierarchy
from this list of names? Can we get a sense of like who is like, are we getting a sense from this that he was running
this entire Harvest Men, or that he was working with them? – With two 25s and a 20, you absolutely get the sense that Coach Daybreak was the brains of the operation, as far as the Harvest Men are concerned. – Wow! Can I look around and
see like if he’s married or like look for if family members or anything like that? – Single. There’s some stuff from
his childhood and parents, and things like that, but
nothing about any current family. – Can we look for like,
is there like a lock box key or anything like that? – Oh yeah.
– You find a lock box key, and it’s what
gets you into that little– – For like, for a bank, like a– – For the bank. – Gotcha, gotcha. No, you don’t find any kind of thing here that would, you find nothing in this place that would insinuate that Coach Daybreak lived a
life of wealth, or had any– – Maybe–
– Can I write down the account number for the bank account? – Yeah, you can record all
of the information you have. – Cool, cool.
– I’m gonna write down then. – What if you went to the bank as him? – Oo. – Yeah, we should do that. – With all his records. – Yeah, if we could, oh
I don’t think I could, I’m tryna think of, am I allowed to use mensal of whispers like
on a day old corpse? – Unfortunately not. – Too bad. – Okay, shall we call my mom? – Yeah.
– Yeah. – You call Sklonda, she
rolls up to the apartment, is flabbergasted, looks over at you and says “Kiddo, what
the hell’s going on?” – So there were some dark goings on at the school, but we
got to the bottom of it. It seems like, have you
heard of the Harvest Men? – Yeah, they’re a cult. – Right, I think Coach Daybreak was like the brains of the operation. – She looks around, you guys have all your assembled evidence here. She goes “Where’s Coach
Daybreak right now?” – He’s super dead.
– He killed himself. – He shots–
– We killed him, he’d dead. – He tried to kill us.
– He shot himself from the back of the head. – We get to lie, you lie to my dad, but I can’t lie to your mom. – My mom’s cool. – All right, all right,
all right, all right, all you children have to come downtown. You have to come downtown. – Wait, no–
– I’m not– – No but there are bad
cops that are dirty cops. – You see a couple of cops, there’s like one guy who’s in the middle of having a hamburger as you look over and say “Dirty cops”. – If there’s evidence, people who, nobody who outranks you. – She grabs it, looks, she looks at it– – A demon over a cop.
– Says, “Sweetie, this checks out. “Go wait in the car, we’re
gonna take care of this.” – All of us?
– Yes ma’am. – Can I make an inside check on her? – Yeah, go for it. – Oh, that 20. – That 20! – [Ally] Oh hell yeah. – You. (laughing) With an insight that often alludes Gorgug, you look at this woman. First of all, you’ve
beefed it a couple times, for sure not your dad. (everyone laughing) Wouldn’t make sense, for
any number of reasons. We’ll call it 99.9 not your dad, right? (Emily laughing) On top of that, this
woman is on the war path. You see the look in her
eyes with the evidence here that she has been wanting to clean up this precinct for a long time, and now has the ability to do so. – You’re not my dad.
– See my mom rules. – What’s that? – You’re not my dad. You’re clearly not my dad. – Mom, I’m so sorry, I don’t– – I don’t– – You’ve got a lot on your plate. We’re gonna go wait in the car. – And then we were all wondering. – We do have something to talk about. – I just want you to
know, before you take me downtown, I actually
have diplomatic immunity. – Oh. The five of you need to
come downtown with me. – I have–
– I’ll go but– – That’s fine. – We won’t place you under arrest. – I have diplomatic immunity too. – I’ll just come with my friends. – I do have diplomatic immunity too. – No you don’t. – Pretend. – I do. I bet I do. – What country are you from? Oop, there it is. So, you see she says, she says, “All right, we’ll take you downtown.” You guys get loaded into a
cruiser, brought downtown. You get some fast food brought to you. You hang out for a little while. – Delicious. – I eat none of it. (everyone laughing) – I eat his. – I’m gonna go ahead and do a little bit of down time now. Your guy’s defeat of Coach Daybreak, and the evidence brought
to Detective Gukgak completely dissembles the
Harvest Men cult in Elmville. – Heck yeah. – Over the next couple
days, Detective Gukgak goes to (beep) work. These homes are raided, including the home of the Applebees. – Wow! – Your parents are cleared of wrongdoing. They were not involved
in any criminal activity, but they involved enough
that their home got raided. Your mom and dad come to you the day after the home gets raided, and
you see your mom says, “Well, I guess your new friends “know which side their bread’s
buttered on, huh Kristen?” – I don’t know what the (beep) that means. Mom, what were you doing
with the Harvest Men? – It’s hard for humans
here, all right, in Solace. – Oh, victim. You are always pretending
to be a victim, mom. I don’t wanna talk to you. – Hey, hey, hey, don’t
you talk to your mother that way, young lady. – Okay fine. I just have a question, why, Coach Daybreak wanted
to make me a Hell Mouth. He was gonna sacrifice me since I was somehow already promised to God, which is something I didn’t ask for. – Nope, nope, he did not, he did not. – Yes he did. – He did not. – He absolutely did. – Prove it, prove it. – I can’t, there’s a lot of proof. – I don’t know about that. – Yeah, that could fill a book. Mom, you’re dumb. – You see your father says, “Well you know what, because you seem “to have a whole new family, Kristen, “maybe you can go stay with them, huh?” – You know what, family’s
a loose word, dad. A lot of different people
can become your family. You know what, all I want are answers, and I’m your kid, I feel like I should be able to get answers from you. I cast light on my new book, on the subject of world religion, and I hold it up as though
it just glows on it’s own. This is where I’ve been
finding some answers. (Brennan screaming) – You get that out of our house right now! – What is even in it, you idiot? – You see they both leap
over the sofa, scrambling. Gab like pole arms off the thing and like brandish pole arms at you. “What the hell is in that book?” – You live a fear based life, goodbye. And I slam the door.
(Brennan yelling) – You slam the door. – Kristen Applebees, you can come stay with me, I’ve been
living at Gilear’s place. – Hell yeah. (Brennan laughing) You mother (beep). – [Emily] Rotten yoghurt. – I started cursing for the first time, and my blood pressure is always super high but in a good way. (Emily laughing) – Cool. Kristen is staying with
Fig at Strong Tower along with Riz down the hallway. – I am too. – [Brennan] You guys are all staying in the same apartment complex. – Cool, can we all go to the
vending machine together? – Yeah! – If I get a string cheese and you guys get crackers, we can make
cheese and crackers for dinner. – Let’s definitely do it. And also Gilear has a ton of yogurt. – I’ll eat the expired
stuff, I don’t care. – Yeah, same, it’s just fun to hang out. – Yeah. – I miss my brothers a little bit. – You can come to mine
for dinner, if you like, but you have to sit at the table with my terrible parents and sister. – Can I bring Gilear? I worry that he doesn’t
eat if I’m not there. – You’re probably 100% right. (Emily and Ally laughing) – So I’m gonna go ahead now and say that you guys experience a
whirlwind over the next days and weeks at the school. I don’t wanna rush past anything you guys wanna do, so feel free to stop me if you have things you guys wanna do. – I have one point that
I want us to address. We never found the palimpsest. – Oh yeah, we never found it. Daybreak didn’t have the palimpsest? – He did break something
that looked like a palimpsest that the Owlbear came
out of, but I don’t think that was our palimpsest? – That remains as an element
of mystery to you guys. You talk to your mom Sklonda who, now that half of you are
over at Strong Tower, that ends up being kind
of your hangout point. You come over to the Gukgak residence for, honestly, take out. You get like sort of a, you know, Bastion market sort of takeout. – Bastion market. – I am so–
– We eat this all the time. – Wait, I’m so sorry, real quick, maybe we should set up
Gilear and your mom. – That would be awesome. (Emily laughing) – Cool. – Let’s try and get them together. – You see that Sklonda sort of takes the little plastic containers out and puts them round and says, “All right kids, go ahead and eat.” – I just bring in a little thing of elven way bread out and just eat that. – I push mine over to the bowl. (Brian growling) – I’m sitting in between
Sklonda and Gilear, and I ask Gilear to switch
with me so he’s next to her. – Gilear switches with you. “Very well, daughter.” You see, he looks over and says, “Sklonda, this meal is exquisite. (Emily laughing) “This corned bread is
particularly scrumptious. “It reminds me of lembas. “Do you have lembas where you’re from? “Where are you, are you from
the Mountains of Chaos?” She looks up and says,
“I’m from Bastion City. “I didn’t make any of
this, this is takeout, “I sort of worked a long shift.” He says, you know I’m gonna go ahead and actually role a charisma check. (Emily and Siobhan laughing) (gentle piano music) It’s add 20. (Emily laughing and clapping) – Gilear! – I see he says, “Sklonda, I have rudely “interjected myself ignorantly
into this conversation. “I won’t lie to you, Sklonda, “I found out recently that one of my shoes “is so filled with mildew, because a pipe “in my bedroom is leaking, that I have “a fungal infection in my foot, “which I didn’t think was
possible for elves to get.” – This is a 20 charisma? – Can I wink and give
him bardic inspiration? I’m worried about him. – You see, he says “I
should see myself out. “It’s been a long time since
I’ve spoke with anyone, “and I’ve made a fool of myself.” Sklonda says “Gil, it’s okay. “You’re fine, you can take a seat. “Can I get you something to drink? “Do you want anything to drink?” He says “I actually brought this, “it’s a bottle of elven wine.” And you see that there’s a big like Costco brand elven wine, like huge bottle. You see he pops it open. Sklonda knocks it back, says “Thanks, I appreciate it. “I haven’t had a glass of elven wine “in I don’t know how long.” And they start to kind of chat. Sklonda gets a little bit in her cups and starts actually talking about the case to you guys. She goes, “Yeah, you
guys did amazing work. “That was really, really incredible. “I can’t tell you how proud I am. “Obviously, you know, don’t kill anymore “of your teachers, but”– – We only killed one. – Sure.
– The other two killed each other. – Yeah, and technically, I mean the coach isn’t even a teacher. – I suppose you haven’t killed
any academic faculty yet. – Exactly. – Yet. – We did kill a lunch lady. – I mean she killed her. – [Lou] Adaine killed a lunch lady. – I mean we all did it
together, it wasn’t just me. – We did not do it, you exclusively beat her over the head with a ladel. – Mom, what does, have you found any evidence about the missing girls with this Harvest Men stuff? – She nods and says. (Ally burping) (Siobhan laughing) – Excuse you. – Many apologies. (everyone laughing) – She nods to you and says, “Yeah”, she says, “We’ve
been tracking them. “We think Daybreak may have sent “the palimpsest to Highcourt. “There’s a lot of Harvest Men, “or these fundamentalists
in the nation of Highcourt. “So now it’s just kind of a waiting game, “we have to get the state department “to give us some kind of extradition “and allow us to conduct a
foreign kind of investigation.” – Say no more. – Oh for sure not. No, no, no, no, no. – Cool. – Yeah, not for you. – What? – You see she says, “I
actually am going to speak “with your father about it soon, Adaine, “because we might need Fallinel’s help. “Highcourt is extremely,
they’re in a politically “kind of unstable place, and having some “elven mediation would probably help us.” – Can I give you some advice that you might not want to hear? – Sure. – I would have maybe,
if you have a colleague who is an elf, my dad sucks. Talk to him? – Roger that, yeah. I appreciate the being straightforward, it is what it is. – Like your dad’s racist? – I know a really good,
very charismatic elf that could, that’s like a diplomat. – Mm, this yogurt tastes
just like potatoes. (everyone laughing) – That’s potatoes, you’re eating potatoes. – You’re just eating mash potatoes. – [Zac] You’re eating mash potatoes. – Ah. I have committed– – Not everything is yogurt. – Another own goal for Gilear Faeth, yes. – Own goal. (laughing) – All right. (everyone laughing) – I tussle what’s left of my dad’s hair. – That’s my bald spot. I was wondering why there wasn’t fruit at the bottom, and now– – Of the potatoes? – You don’t have to go into it, Gilear. – It was a sad moment.
– You thought it was– – I gotta be honest, I wanted more. – I don’t like mash potatoes. (everyone laughing) – Run forward. – You guys end that dinner,
it’s a lovely night. Gilear has got to talk a little bit more. The weeks and months
that follow from here, the trail kind of goes cold for you guys. It’s a complicated extradition
process with Highcourt. Also, you guys get a little it distracted. This big bad guy took a fall, and maybe Riz, you’re still a little hung up on it because of Penny. But your lives at
Aguefort completely change after the events of the last battle. You guys are this weird
kind of unspoken posse. The seniors all stop making fun of you. You see that one of them says one thing one day, and Ragh (beep) takes them out. Penelope and Dayne
start like acknowledging you guys in the hallway. And it’s not necessarily
that you’re popular, because you’re all still freshmen, but you guys notice
that the other freshmen all come up and talk to
you guys at like lunch. They ask you questions in class. – Is that, what happened
to the dwarf girl? – Ostentatia? – Yeah.
– Who was poisoned? – Ostentatia’s back at school. Ostentatia walks by as you guys were sort of walking
into the school one day, and she goes, “Back, better. “Hey, what’s up bull?” – Hey, sorry that you drank that tea. – Honestly, it was so random. Like I was like “Steal me tea”, and then I got home and I was like, “I wonder what this tea is like”, and then I drank it and
I kind of went crazy. Did you get my note? – Yes, I did, thank you. – Awesome.
– What did you mean to say because you wrote it
kind of in a crazy way? I think you were– – I don’t think I wrote it crazy. Crystal, Johnny, palimpsest, right? Penelope? – Penny. – Penelope. – If you were to say that as a sentence. – Hm? – Instead of– – I’m not like great at writing. – You just wrote like the key words. – I was literally losing my mind. I could feel my brain shutting down and I got a note like as fast as I could. Honestly, pretty baller, if I’m being– – Yeah I think you nailed it, girl. – It was great. – So like the judgment,
you can like hold onto it. – You ask everyone who’s your dad, I mean come on guy. – I didn’t hear myself,
I guess, I’m sorry. (everyone laughing) – At least you apologize. – You guys now enjoy this weird kind of under the radar celebrity status. Also you guys start to
ace your (beep) classes. The extracurricular nightmare journey you guys have been on has put you so far ahead of the curve
of the other students that haven’t had any combat that your classes are
(beep), just easy peasy. – Are we still taking barbarian classes? – Adaine, people come up to you all the time to ask you
questions about divination. You’re still taking barbarian classes. You know Porter’s like,
“You got a great rage, “I can really feel it. “And hey, Gorbag”– – Gorgug. – Gorrag. – Gorgug. – Gorgug, really solid effort. – I stopped singing. – You stopped singing, hey, that’s half the battle right there, init? (Emily laughing) Way to go. – I’m pretty good, okay. – So we’re just gonna run some scenes over the first part of the year that you guys are there as
kind of things cool down. Anything you guys want
to pursue, let me know. – Tracker doesn’t go to our school, right? That was just kind of– – Tracker does not go to your school. – Tracker’s a full adult. I would–
– I mean I’m gonna– – I still really wanna get a makeover. – [Emily] I’ll give you a makeover. – Actually, I wanna talk
to you guys for a second. Number one, all of you guys can choose a new tool proficiency or language, as you are at school this year. Additionally, your guys gifts that you got begin to exhibit the
properties of magical items, and I can tell you guys
what they do right now. – But we still don’t know
who we got them from? – Still don’t know who you got them from. – Doesn’t it say your dad’s name? – It says Gorthalax’s girl on it. – Oh. (Ally laughing) – Gilear’s girl could also be
Gilear and Gorthalax’s girl. – The wax for the hangman now works as a mending spell, mending cantra that you can cast. – Very cool. On just the hangman? – You can try it on
other stuff if you want. – [Lou] Okay. – The tomb on world
religions that you got, Kristen, gives you advantage on religion and nature checks. – Cool. – The ruby guitar pick allows you to cast either protection from fire, burning hands or charm
a person once per day. So once per day, you can
cast one of those spells. The leather holster has
started to rub off on your ax. Your ax is now a plus one weapon, meaning that your attack goes up by one, and your damage goes up by one. – Oh. – And the ball, you find that your awesome new leather briefcase, your older one you busted doing the
half pipe trick on it. – So sick. – Your newer leather briefcase doesn’t seem to have an amount of stuff you can’t put in it. – Oh sweet. – The briefcase of infinite holding. – My briefcase of holding. (everyone laughing) – And then Adaine, you still have your 45 GP gift card to
this high end clothe tier. (upbeat music) – I’ll go shopping. – Yeah, let’s go shopping.
– I’ll cut class. – I’ll go, yeah.
– Hey Porter. Hey Porter, I feel like I’m doing really well, and I’m gonna take today off. – Honestly, you’ve earned it, yeah? – Thanks, yeah let’s go shopping. – All right, I’ll stay. – All right, hey,
Gulbag’s in it to win it. – It’s, okay. – I cast unseen servant
to make notes for me. (everyone laughing) – You cast an unseen
servant, it rushes over to your book and says, “Ah yes, study. “The heart and soul of the wizard’s craft. “This has been use of unseen servant.” – And I sneak out, as to show initiative in my rogue class. (everyone laughing) – Hell yeah. Awesome. – Could I create a minor illusion of Riz at his class? – Just like disappearing, fading. – Yes, you may. – Okay. – You guys sneak out, you go down to a little clothe here
called the Guilded Coin. You see that there is a
much older half elven woman. This large sort of hooped skirt, very sort of Elizabethan looking, who’s sort of flouncing
throughout the shop. So you open the door, just
wafts of perfume and incense. You see that there is a little sort of imp or mephit, some
kind of winged creature with spectacles on a
long nose flying around. And the half elf woman goes, (Brennan groaning) “Welcome to the Guilded Coin. “My name is Madam Silvaine, “can I help you look for something?” – Do you have a men’s section or a modest woman’s section? – We have neither a men’s section nor any modesty at all! – What about chain wallets, studded belts, corsets for no reason? – A studded belt. I have a belt made of a
tapestry from old Solace. – This is gonna be just an– – I think this is gonna be–
– Is there another, yeah okay. Oh, I just wanna look cool at school. – You want to look cool? Well, I can certainly help you with that. Madam Silvaine isn’t behind the times! – We should go somewhere else. – [Emily] Is there somewhere else– – Please don’t go anywhere else! Please don’t go anywhere else! – I’m so sorry. – I’m begging you! – There’s that beach
themed clothing store. – Oh yes, the beach,
let’s go to the beach. – The very land lock.
– Beach themed clothing store. – I see that you have a gift card that’s only redeemable here. You would have to spend
real money somewhere else. – Sounds like a bullet
I’ll bite, let’s go. (Emily laughing) Just kidding. – So, in your wildest dreams, what would you like to look like? – Just like a normal kid that’s not wearing a school uniform at a school that doesn’t have a school uniform. – What of a tiny little sailor? – No! – I’m a teenager, I’m not a baby. – No? All right. Well, something normal, normal. – Just like a T-shirt and jeans. Maybe like a jean jacket. – You would like a T-shirt and jeans, and a jean jacket? – Don’t say that like
they’re foreign words. You know what those words mean. – I, only because of my extremely diligent study of the craft of fashion have I ever heard those words before. I think you shall look
an absolute fool, deary! But I shall try my best. – Can I charm person on her? – Yes, sure thing. (dice bouncing) (whooshing) (Brennan groaning) (Siobhan laughing) – Get the girl what she wants. – “A T-shirt, a jean jacket and
a pair of jeans, very well.” And flounces off into the shop. – I think all of these are going to have lace sewn somewhere onto them. We can take it off.
– I’ve got a pocket knife, we can just cut it right off. – I don’t know Adaine,
I thought you’d look lovely as a sailor. (Emily laughing) – Tiny little sailor boy. That’s basically what I’m already wearing. – Exactly! And I think you look just fine now. – Well, thank you but I want to actually just be able, like I don’t want to worry about my skirt flying up in the middle of battle, you know? – She returns with a pair
of cool skinny jeans, this sort of dark blue T-shirt that has a very faded arcane polygon like rune structure on
it, but almost impossible to see unless you’re looking for it. And this wool lined denim jacket, that has like a ton of
very small pockets on it. They don’t seem to look
like a bunch of pockets, but you see there’s like
two kind of on the breast, there’s some for your hands down here, and there’s two on the interior. And there’s two smaller zip up ones right near the base. She says–
– I love pockets. – She says, “Oh, well, if you love pockets “then you’ll love this jacket, deary. “Go ahead, cast your spell, do you have “any ability to detect magic? “I want you to see the craftsmanship.” (whooshing) Boom, your eyes glow blue. You see a very minor
divinatory and obdurative magic on the T-shirt, and powerful conjuration magic on the jacket. “This is a jacket of useful things. “Put it on.” (rustling) – Whoa! You look cool.
– It’s inside out. It’s on inside out. – (beep). – The wool is on the inside. – [Ally] If he was reversible. – She says, “Now, let’s say you’d like “something for your friends,
or you need something, “what’s the sort of thing you never have “the ability to carry in your pockets? “You know, they never give
ladies clothing pockets!” – Never. – Never! This hoop skirt has over 35 pounds of material goods in it. – That’s heavy. – Yo, start showing us. – I have a full ham! – Wow! – [Emily] Good! – I eat it. (everyone laughing) – That’s a hungry boy with
a helping heaping of ham. – You got a cigarette in there? – I most certainly do. Huge holder and a little
guilded cigarette. – Okay, hello! – Wow. – This lady rules. – Now, I must warn you, it’s not tobacco. – What is it? – It’s halfling weed
mixed with dragon spice. – All right. – Madam Silvaine knows how to cut loose at the end of the day. – I like it.
– You know I thought you weren’t cool, but
you’re extremely cool. – All of you wanted to go somewhere else, and this place is fantastic. (everyone laughing) – Ancient readiness, young Fabian! – It’s good to see you, how are you? – Cool. – Good, good, good, good. It’s so lovely. Cathilda stopped by for the car. – Yes, of course, yes. – “Lovely, yes, yes, yes.” You see she says, “Your
father’s coat, how’s it doing?” – It’s fantastic. Oh your patchwork is incredible. – Of course, and that coat explodes! (Siobhan laughing) – It does, it does. – It blows right up. – [Lou] Yes. – Now, reach in there, picture something in your mind that you’d like. – I am quite hungry,
so I guess a sandwich? – A full hoagie comes out prewrapped. (rustling) – I’m not there. (everyone laughing) – Cool. – What of something that couldn’t even be in the pocket? Say a piping hot cup of tea? (gentle music) Full saucer, milk, two
sugar cubes on the side, spoon in the cup, and just a perfectly steeped cup of tea. – Hey Adaine, can I have a rat? – Unfortunately, the jacket cannot create living things, or rather it can but they will exist in
a terrifying half life, neither real or imaginary. Their existence will be a horrifying, excruciating pain, and they will seek to kill themselves as quickly as possible. Don’t pull a rat out! – What about an oyster? They don’t have a central
nervous system, so. – The oyster would be fine. (Emily laughing) – Do you want a knife to shuck it with? – No, it’s a pet. – A pet oyster? Put it in some water, it’s
going to immediately die. – (beep), can I have some water? – Also, doesn’t,
theoretically, that oyster want to kill itself but it can’t because it has no kind
of central nervous system with which to do it? – An oyster desires nothing, dear boy. – Oh fantastic. – Cool. – Well, that would be 45 gold pieces, if you’d like to make the purchase. – Yes, I have that exactly. – “Well splendid! “Ching! “Ah, another good day of business “for the Guilded Coin.” Pew, the card disappears into sparkles. She collects the sparkles, throws them on some of the dresses and says, “Can I help with anything else?” – Didn’t you have five dollars left over? Five gold piece left over
on that gift certificate? – No, that was 45. – You look really cool, Adaine. – You look great.
– Thank you. – [Lou] Very cool. – I mean, I guess I’ll have to wash this T-shirt a lot, but
I’m very excited about it. – Oh yes, I would say do give it a good wash before you wear it. Those clothing should be washed, I wouldn’t wear it straight away. I will also say this,
if you do not wash it, some of the things other
people put in there might be in there, so careful. – [Ally] Cool! – Who owned this before I owned it? – Store’s closing, farewell children! (doors closing) – It’s the middle of the day! (everyone laughing) – Can I cast identify on my jacket? – Ah yes, the jacket of useful things. Formally the robe of useful things, crafted by elven ArcMagi
in time in memorial. The most recent ArcMigi of
the elves, Elemear Bucanon. Thought it looked stuffy and old and wanted to give it a new, rad vibe, changing into a denim, wool lined jacket. This has been another use
of the identify spell. – I would like to have the object that the last owner of
this jacket put in it. – You pull out a note saying, “I’m hiding in the jacket,
please don’t take me out.” (Zac laughing) – Who are you? – You look in, it’s just
like an empty pocket. – What?!
– What?! – Can I detect thoughts on her jacket? – An overwhelming wave of thoughts. Thousands or millions of
strains of consciousness beat into your psyche all at once, and you take 10 points of damage. – What?! – How many people are in this jacket? – Don’t pull any of them out, otherwise they’ll be trapped
in the half life thing, right? – Ask for a note that says the number of how many people are in the jacket. – I would like a note saying how many people are hidden in this jacket. – A note comes out saying, “Mind your own (beep) business.” – Damn! – This jacket is so sassy. – Oh my gosh, it looks so good but like also you’re carrying around like a multitude of people.
– Souls. – But they’re all taking
refuge in there though. – I mean I guess though–
– So you’re kind of like wearing a cool hostel. – Shall we pull them out? Right? – But if I pull them out– – You can just put them back in. They can go in my bag, if they want. – If living people went in, when they come out, are they still, do they have to live a half life? Who knows?
– You can cast identify again. – Oh my God. – I guess I’ll cast identify again. – Ah yes, the question of whether the beings in the jacket will live a half life if they didn’t
originate from the jacket. The question as old as time itself. – Is it? – No, the jacket, of course, can only produce objects worth a pittance. Expensive items, jewels and that sort cannot be produced. It’s just useful things
that the jacket produces. The creatures taking refuge in the jacket are various refugees,
criminals and hideaways that live in a city at the center of the extra-dimensional
space within the jacket. They live complex lives,
form relationships, nations rise and fall, and they have no way of exiting the jacket. It’s more of a thought experiment really, and has no ability to interfere with you living your life. Just sort of a mind (beep) for you to walk around with. – Can I just like put my hand in one of the pockets, just a little bit? – You hit the bottom of the pocket. – Okay. – I would like a chocolate rat. – A little chocolate rat comes out. – Here you go, here’s your rat. (Brennan laughing) – Well I already got one pet, so I think I’ll just. – Cool, we’re gonna move on from there. You guys, it gets closer
to like the holiday season. You guys have your little holiday break. There’s a little solstice
party that happens. You guys all get together. – Is Gorthalax going to be there? – Gorthalax shows up. (Emily laughing) – And Gilear and Gorthalax are both there? – Gilear and Gorthalax are both there. The thistle springs are hosting it. So it’s a little thistle
spring holiday party. They’ve decorated the
tree with little lights and there’s a little helio symbol, and everyone’s having a great time. “Gorgug, we’re so happy. “Look at all your pals!” – Thanks for coming to the party. – Merry solstice everybody! Merry solstice, we have cookies. It’s great. – I actually don’t
celebrate solstice anymore, but happy holidays. – Happy holidays to you. It’s just a secular thing here, we don’t really believe either, we just grew up with it. Yeah, for sure. – I’m making everyone hot chocolate and secretly spiking it. – Awesome. – With like the wrong thing
though, like a teenth. – Jager. (Emily and Ally laughing) – You see Gilear and Gorthalax are talking over in the corner. Gorthalax is huge. He’s got like a little festive wreath on his head, and he’s got
a little thing of cider. He’s going like “Yeah well,
you know it’s been rough. “Basically I was gone,
so I’ve been demoted. “My sort of infernal dutchee has kind of “been carved up by other devil princes, “so I kind of have to take a demotion “if I wanted to get back on
the ladder at this point. “Oh hey sweetie, how’s it going?” – Hey, do you meet my pet, little Gilear? – “Oh! “Look at that.” What are you gesturing
to when you say that? – My oyster and in water. – Your little oyster, cool. This is many weeks later by the way. – She’s still carrying it around. – [Brennan] Dope. – Is it dead?
– It’s so stinky. (laughing) – Oh yeah, it smells horrible. It’s a true (beep) nightmare, yeah. (Emily laughing) – So metal, so metal. – Yeah, so metal to carry a (beep) perished oyster around with you. – In a glass of water. – I’m a little concerned about that, okay, if it’s dead then I think I’m gonna give it a nice little burial and move on with my life. – Oh finally! Thank God. – We were gonna talk to you about that. – We have been talking behind your back about maybe like having an
intervention of some kind. Thank God! – Why didn’t you guys say it was dead? – You one time were like, “Can I talk to you for a second?” And you were kind of whispering something in my ear, but you were just holding it right underneath my nose, and I just had to sit there
while you were talking. – (beep) it, I didn’t even realize. – You see Gorthalax turns over to you and says, “Sweetie, actually I’d like “to talk to you for a second if I could.” – Yeah, totally. Is it about the oyster because
I thought it was alive. – No, no, it’s fine, you
do whatever you want. – Okay. – I gotta head out soon because your mom’s gonna be here in a little while. – I might as well head out too. – No, you should stay, it’s good. – No, I have two dads and no mother. – I don’t, I don’t like that, sweetie. – She’s honestly barely been around. Gilear has done a lot more raising me. – I think it’s probably
because you seek Gilear out. – I can’t argue with that. – Look, I wanted to talk to you because I know I’ve been
kind of coming and going. I’ve been taking care of
some stuff back in hell. – Which by the way I can’t wait to visit. – Well that’s why I want to talk to you. (gentle music) – Spring break, me and my
friends come down to hell? – You can keep guessing if you’d like. (everyone laughing) Do you want to keep guessing? I’m having a hard time saying
it, is what I’m saying, yeah. – Okay. I’ll shut the (beep) up. – If you went back to hell, I’d have to take a pretty severe demotion. I’d no longer be a pit feed, I’d go back to probably a galley gun or corner gun or something like that. I also got a job offer here in town, and I just don’t wanna do
anything around your life. I’ve consumed untold thousands of souls, and I don’t want to consume your life. If you want– – You should definitely take the job here. – You sure, you wanna sleep on it? – I don’t need to sleep on it. We’ll start a band, it’ll be great. – I’d like for us to
have more time to jam, it’d be good.
– Yeah. – If you change your mind, let me know. – I won’t. – I’m gonna say yes, okay? – Yeah, what is it? Coach at Aguefort? – How’d you know? – I had a feeling. – The next day at the
Aguefort Adventuring Academy. It’s the day after solstice. A couple weeks later at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy, that season, this current season was scrubbed because the coach got murdered, so. – Killed. – [Brennan] Killed. – We killed him. – You killed him. You see the next day there’s a little assembly as you guys come
back from the winter break. Vice Principle Golden Hort says, (microphone squeaking) “Students of the Eggfort
Adventuring Academy, “wow, we’ve made it half
way through the year. “Four faculty deaths, a
handful of student deaths, “looking good, on track
for a strong finish. “I would like to introduce one and all “to our new coach. “Please give a warm welcome
to Gorthalax the insatiable.” – Woo! – I used domiturgy to
make like the loudest roar of stadium cheering possible. (crowd cheering) – Gorthalax comes out, still in like the loin cloth, a huge devil. You see he has a sort of tiny baseball cap on top of his head, and a huge spiked black chain ending in
an enormous like skull whistle on his chest. He comes out and says, (microphone squeaking) “Hey gang, happy to be
here, happy to be on board. “I have not been involved
in the academic career “for the first semester this year, “but looking to come in
the middle of the season. “Obviously we’ve had to
forfeit to those bombs “over on the Helions and the men, boo!” – Boo, boo! – “But we’re gonna get those Owlbears “in fighting shape for the next year. “We’re gonna take it to
’em, how does that sound?” – Woo! – “All right, great.” (Brennan laughing) Gorthalax walks over to you
guys afterwards and says, “Great, well I’m gonna go
get used to the new digs.” – Dad, before you go, this is
who you need to be meeting. – There’s no need. – I have seen, this
man is built for sport. – It’s true. – He doesn’t talk like
it, but he plays like it. – Also if you need a bull, we have one. – Well. – If you do need a bull, we definitely have a bull, but I do also play Bloodrun. – He was built for being– – He looks at you and says, he goes, “I’m sorry guys, we already had try outs. “We had ’em at the
Durinson Mithral factory “and you’re all in.” – I’m sorry we’re all? I’m sorry what, we’re all on the team? – Anybody, he says, “What you guys did “at that Mithral Factory blew my mind. “If you want in on the team, you’re in. “If you don’t wanna play,
you don’t have to but”– – I’m in on the team, I’m in. – Yeah, I hate going home. – I’m sorry– – I’ll do anything to
be outside of my house. – Yeah, it makes 100%
sense that I’m on the team, but you’re telling me
we’re all on the team. – Sounds like I’ll be the star. – Gorthalax, can I be the captain? – We’ll put it to a vote. – Who wants me to be the captain? – [Brennan] We’ll put it to a vote. – I think you could be a good captain. – I kind of feel like, right Fabian– – I think Fabian.
– You’re obviously the captain, right? I mean the ball–
– You guys are just going to play into his ego? I was doing this as like, okay, no that’s fine, good. – Okay then, work with it. – Cool no, let’s make
the cool kid the captain. – Just for sports, not for real life. – [Brian] Let’s make the
cool kid the captain. – You see he says, “Let’s just see here. “Kristen, heads up”, tosses the ball. Go ahead and make an acrobatics check. – Great. My acrobatics are not good. – Negative three. (dice bouncing) – 10. – [Siobhan] Oo! – The ball bounces off your hands and lands on the ground. He says, “You’re certainly welcome to, “you know, if you wanna find a way “to support the team,
you’re welcome to do that.” – Maybe you could be the
healer slash manager. – I don’t wanna be the stats girl. (everyone laughing) – I wanted to be the
stats girl, is that bad? – Yeah. – Point is, show up to
practice ready to play. We’re gonna drill you guys hard, okay? – Hell yes, coach. – But isn’t this just a physical game? I feel like I should join like whatever the equivalent
of the mathletes is. – Yeah, you don’t have to join. – I’m excited to be on the team. I never wanna go home again.
– I kind of wanna play. – I’ll definitely play.
– I didn’t want you guys to feel like out. It’s mostly Fabian. – Hell yeah.
– I think I would be good. – And I think Gorgug and
Riz would also be good, if you guys wanna jump on. – Very gendered. – And also Fig. – Fig, do you wanna play? – Yeah! – I feel like you should be in band. – Nah, I’ve been kind of outrunning my– – I’m gonna let you guys
finish on your own time. You come back to me and you let me know. – Like if we’re gonna do extra
curriculars, it should be– – Whoever wants to play can play, I mean. – [Emily] I guess I’ll look– – I was wondering, could I start casting augery while just kind
of like sitting by myself on the bleachers or wherever we are? – Yeah, absolutely.
– Okay cool. – What are you cast, what are you asking? – It takes a minute, and I’m probably not going to use like
corn religious stuff, but maybe I found like, you know, moonstones or something
in like a new age place. And I just wanna know if it’ll work out with like my parents, and like home life. – You cast augery and
the answer you get back is “Whoa” and “Wheel”
which in augery terms means dark times are ahead,
and past them something good. – Cool, okay. – You hear a voice behind you as the sound of someone riding up on a bicycle. You see a young woman with a unibrow and a short haircut, kind of like long clawish kind of fingernails. Gets off the bike, says “You’re casting
that with moonstones?” – Hey, what’s, oh my gosh. What’s your name again? – Tracker. – Oh my God, yeah right, Tracker. Right, Kristen. Hi. – Hey, I saw you over here. I’m here visiting my uncle. – I’m shaking your hand for way too long. What were you saying? – You wanna keep shaking my hand? – Oh, okay. That’s crazy. I’m not crazy. – I’m here visiting my uncle. I saw you over here casting
a spell with moonstones? – Oh yeah, yeah, I’ve been reading some stuff about moons. (gentle piano music) (everyone laughing) – She says, “Okay, do you ever wanna “talk about like light and the godness “of the moon and stuff like that, “you’re welcome to come talk to me.” – Oh, you know about that stuff? – I’m a cleric of lighta. (Ally mumbling) (everyone laughing) – Who’s your uncle? Where do you live?
– You hear a noise. (everyone laughing) You hear a noise, as you hear a voice say, “Well that’s just the thing, right, “because the feelings, they’re bigger “when you keep ’em locked up.” You see that Jawbone is walking down some steps with Ragh next to him. Jawbone still has like the black jean cut offs, and he’s got like this metal shredder pentagram shirt, but you see that he’s moved into kind of a thigh length like cardigan sweater with like a chunky like collar. And he’s got like glasses now, he’s got like a little mug of tea, and you see he’s going like, he goes, “I mean that’s basically it, you know? “You can’t lie about who you are forever, “because then you’re not
even on your own side. “It’s like the Owlbears,
if you’re not playing “for your own team, how can
you expect anybody else to? “You know what I mean, bud? “One time I was eating this holey mushroom “behind a Zigarat in Yuwanti country, “and I was tripping balls, you understand? “I came to surrounded by dead bodies “of temple guards, and
a ticket for a zeppelin “going to a country I’d never heard of. (everyone laughing) (gentle music) “Think about who I’d be
if I got on that zeppelin, “if I’d be honest with myself. (Brennan slurping) “If you got the ticket, you’ve
got to take the ride, kid. “That’s all I gotta say.” You see Ragh kind of like touches an arm and goes, “Oh, thanks
Jawbone, you’re cool as hell.” “Hey man, ain’t nobody in this world cool, “you know what I mean? “We’re all (beep) pieces of (beep), “come on in here.” And he gives him a big hug and he says, “All right brother, you come
by any time now, all right? “Hey, if you feel up to it, you never “should push somebody
around or be a bully, “but it’s not bullying
people to let ’em know “what’s going on in here, okay? “Okay.” Walks away. (laughing) And Ragh like walks off and has like a shy kind of smile, looks
like he’s been crying but has find some kind
of center to himself, and walks away from there. Jawbone walks over, goes “Oh
Tracker, come here girl.” And gives her a big hug. Looks over and says “Oh, Miss Applebees, “how’s you doing?” – I’m great, how’s you, Jawbone? – I’m good as hell, I’m feeling great. – I gotta go. – All right, you go if you want. – No, I just felt like
I was keeping you guys. You guys have to go now. (laughing) – He goes, “If you wanna
come over some time, “Tracker has friends
over, so you’re welcome “to come over if you want.” – Cool, yeah. You have friends, Tracker? – Tracker says, “Do I have friends?” – Yeah, cool. – Yeah I have friends. – Cool, me too. Those are my friends over there. – All of us are staring
at this conversation. – Can I do an insight check to see how old Tracker is? (everyone laughing) Nine. – You have no idea how old Tracker is. – Mysterious. – Can I do an insight check? (Emily laughing) Six. (dice bouncing) – 25! – 25, Tracker looks to
be like high school age, she looks like she might be
like 16, like a sophomore. – Sweet. – You’re all good, Kristen. – What?
– I wouldn’t judge. – You’re all good, these guys. – I wouldn’t have judged. – You try to get a bead on Tracker as much as you can, but you get distracted really quick, because
you’re looking at Jawbone. (Ally laughing) Here’s the thing, you have been getting a lot of (beep) for thinking that people are your dad. Even though, you don’t
think Jawbone’s your dad. Your positive that he’s
not your dad, in fact. But here’s the thing, Tracker
called Jawbone her uncle. You’re pretty sure he’s her dad. – Can I do an insight check on what Gorgug is currently thinking about? – For sure. (dice bouncing) – 18. – 18, you think that Gorgug is cracking the case wide open in his head. – Can I punch him with a
back of the hand real hard? (everyone laughing) – Yes, you absolutely can. Go ahead, make an attack roll. – Great. Net 20. (everyone laughing) – You (beep). Wham, Gorgug hit. – Okay, I’m sorry, I didn’t
mean to hit you that hard. It wasn’t supposed to be that hard, I could just tell– – Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! What the hell is going on here? – I’m sorry, he was thinking
that you’re his dad. He does it a lot. – No! You’re her dad! (everyone laughing) Don’t you see? – [Lou] Okay, my bad. – Hey, hey. There are ways to solve
things without violence, and I’ll be honest, violence usually comes from a place of fear. And I noticed that you haven’t stopped by my office any time. – Yeah, I watched you
bite one of my friends. – I’m sorry I bit one of your friends, but you know what, I never bit myself, and that’s something that you’re doing on an emotional level every day. – Okay. – You punched me so hard. – I’m sorry, I didn’t– – I pull an ice pack out of
my incredible (beep) jacket. – Jawbone and Tracker take off. Tracker waves at you. – Good luck! – With what? – Hm? (everyone laughing) Maybe I’ll see you around. – Feel free to contact me, yeah, if you wanna hang out, let’s hang out. – Oh cool, yeah. Can I have your number? – Yeah.
– Cool. – She just comes over,
says “What’s your number?” – Six, seven, nine, two,
two, nine, seven, six. – Her number shows up on your crystal and it says “Tracker” and
there’s like a little winky face. – “I have to go” and I run, I sprint. – Sprint away from there. You guys move along. Other loose ends that
we’re just gonna cover. Yeah, the cats and owls
disappear almost immediately, that happened like way long ago, the cats and owls were gone. Who has Edgar the rat? – I have Edgar the rat. – Yeah what’s up with that?
– He’s just like a good pet, Edgar’s like a nice little rat. – So lucky to have a pet that’s alive. – You have two dads. – That’s true. – You see that going into like the sort of, you know, thick of winter and heading wards into the spring, you guys have been having
just a really solid year. Let’s go ahead, everyone say sort of how you’re feeling as the year
kind of rounds into spring, as you know, the sort of cops took over the case, and you guys were having sort of a dynamite year at school. What’s going on with you guys over the course of that year? – I mean I’m still
frustrated with my parents that I’m doing so well at the school and it truly means nothing to them. – I’m just happy to have some friends, and every now and then like see Zelda in passing and try to talk to her, but doesn’t quite happen. (Brennan panting) – Walks away. – Okay. – I think I’ll probably, since I have two dads now, my rebellion
is kind of calming down, so I probably actually
go take some band classes and stuff like that. And also, I fake sick a lot to go see Dr Asha at the hospital. – On your first attempt to do that, I’m gonna get you to
roll a deception check. – Okay. (laughing) 15. Oh wait I get an advantage, don’t I get an advantage because of actor? – Oh you do have an advantage, yeah. – Okay, 20. – 20. You sneak into the hospital,
and find this adult dwarf, who believes you to be an adult. (everyone laughing) – Hey. We just haven’t talked since the kiss. – What do you mean we haven’t
talked since the kiss? – Since we kissed. – Dr Keller, you work here everyday. (Emily laughing) – I know, but we haven’t talked. You know we talk surface
level but we haven’t– – He closes the door and he says– – [Emily] Heart to heart. – You’re pregnant. (dramatic music) – And then I quickly manifest a little pregnant stomach to my disguise. “Yeah, with twins.” – Whoa! – [Emily] Twins. – Twins? But the ultrasound– – It was a triplet but we lost one. – What? (Brennan yelling) No! Smash the door open and runs away. – This is a really vulnerable time for both of us, just
give me one more kiss. – He turns around and
says, “I’m so sorry.” Passionate kiss. “God, you kiss so weird sometimes.” (Emily laughing) He sprints out of the room. (Brennan and Emily laughing) And yeah, you are engaging in
something truly disturbing. (everyone laughing) You guys– – Something truly disturbing. – How about you guys,
as the year goes along? – It feels right to be stepping
into my rightful place, or at least to be taking steps towards becoming king of the school. It’s nice to have my crew,
party with me along the way. – Lovely. – I’ve been going with Tracker to like insanely gay events, but I go and I kind of go to the bathroom immediately and stand in there for a really long time
just happy that I’m there. And then I almost always fake a phone call from my parents, and leave right away. (everyone laughing) – I think Riz is feeling
some residual guilt for not finding Penny yet, but he’s also super happy that he has friends now. He was a better detective
when he was a loser, or at least that’s what he’s afraid of. – Well I think that Adaine probably is doing some extra curricular
reading on palimpsests still. I think that that’s a thing. – That’s awesome. I think you two, Adaine and Riz probably talk the most about those palimpsests, but it is hard because
it’s like life is good now. You definitely feel the
edge being taken off, and there’s that guilt there, and there’s always just this something in your head of like a clue or something you missed that just tickles
the back of your mind. And then it’s like the next fun thing with your friends, or like
the next cool adventure, the next thing. – Oh and I’d like to say one more thing. Now that things, you
know, feel more solid, that you know, these friendships
that we have are true, it was I that got you all the gifts. It was me. – Really? – Oh my gosh! – Fabian! – Fabian. – Fabian, that’s so cool. – You got yourself a gift? – Here’s the thing about being wealthy is that often people who surround you are interested in that and only that, and I didn’t want, I
wanted you all to stay but I didn’t want to give in so hard that you all thought
that that was the only, I just, I didn’t want– – I mean if I’m being honest, the thing that’s worst about you is how you’re wealthy. – Oh. – But thank you. – Thank you. – Wow, wow! – It’s, you’ve risen in my estimation. – You know what Fabian,
open the flood gates. I know I can be a hard book to read, a tough cookie to crumble. – No you’re pretty transparent. – No, not at all. – The most transparent person. – A stale cracker to eat some turkey on. – Excuse me? You’ve been hanging out with Gilear and eating dinner with him too long. – Anyway, thank you Fabian,
we really appreciate it. – Gilear walks into the room
where you’re hanging out, “More turkey crackers?” – No, we’re okay. – I have this way bread
that I’m still working on. Would you like some? – Oh, elven way bread, I’d better not I can’t afford it and– – No, no, no, it’s mine, I have it. It’s fine, I’m giving it to you. – No I’m saying if I eat it, I’ll remember what it tastes like and I won’t be able to get it later. – Wow that’s dark. – I mean I can just, we have a ton of it at my house– – No, no, no!
– I can just bring some. – Gilear is happy with
the turkey crackers. – Can I, can we see, as he turns around that I stitched him a little shirt that says “Lunch lad” on
the back, like a jersey. – It’s my only shirt without holes. All right.
– Can I ask you a question? – [Brennan] Yes. – How did you think of turkey crackers? – Well, there’s a Bastion market near here that gets rid of it’s food, and the turkey gets thrown out in a sealed bag. – I know that trick. – I need to go to my night job. (everyone laughing) – I’d like to take the
tray of turkey crackers and put it in the never ending bag while winking at Fabian like, thanks for the gift, man. – Of course. – I feel like I’m also–
– I pull out some experiment. – Still being forced to go
to church by my parents, that’s another thing–
– Your parents still want you to go to church.
– That I’m working on. – You spend probably
some nights back at home, and then other times it’s like not great at home, and you’re staying with friends and stuff like that. – I have one more thing
I’ve been secretly doing, which is just that like I was, Gorthalax, like when, I’ve been trying to sort of emulate what he does, which is like just low key, I haven’t told any of them, I’ve never
done it to any of them, but I’m kind of charming people into revealing their true selves. So I’m taking like people that like, like when Gorthalax gave his whole speech about how like he’s not bad, he just tempts people to
reveal their true selves. I’ve been doing that on like a low level. – A low key level, that’s rad as hell. So getting into like late
winter, early spring. Kind of like end of Februaryish. You guys are sort of, time of this year you have this weird
feeling of this sort of suspicion of something like mist. And Riz, one night you’re asleep in bed, and you have this intense dream where you’re like in
this giant crystal palace or dome, and you look in front of you and you see Penny Luckstone. Cool, fun, halfling, the
best babysitter you ever had. She’s got like the freckles,
and the sort of like shorter reddish hair, tussled curly hair, and always had like fun
games and stuff like that. She walks over to you, kind of like hair on her feet, no shoes, and she says, “Hey Riz, how’s you doing bud? “God, you’ve gotten so big!” – Here have you been? – Time’s coming up pretty soon. I’m not gone yet. I don’t blame you for not finding me. – I’m still gonna find you. – “I hope so. “I love you, you’re a good kid.” She gives you a nuggie. “But the time’s coming, and
it’s worse than you think.” You wake up in bed. (beeping) That morning your father’s
sort of in a huff, and he’s like “Well that goblin woman “is going to be coming
by next week some time, “so I’ll have to be
speaking with her soon.” – You mean my friend’s mother? – Yes, the goblin. – Mrs Gukgak? Actually, Captain Gukgak. – “Very well, very well, yes, yes, yes. “She’s coming by soon.” You see that Aelwen comes by and she says, “Good morning mommy, good morning daddy. “Good morning Adaine, how’re you?” – Oh I’m so well, thank
you so much for asking. – All right, listen, I meant to ask, can I borrow one of your divination books? I have a test coming
up, and I’m a little bit fuzzy on some of my divinatory practices. – Divination? I thought that you were
good at everything. – I’m focusing on
abduration, but there are some elements of abdurative
magic and divinatory magic that are not complimentary, so I’m just a little fuzzy on some of the basics. Can I borrow a book, or do you want to rake me over the coals some more? – You can borrow a book, absolutely. I don’t need it, I’ve
already read them, thank you. (Brennan sighing) – “Very well, Adaine.” She lets herself upstairs. – I can show you, if you like. It’s very easy, at least for me. – She goes up into your room and she says, “Read them”, she says,
“These two library books, “they’re wildly over due.” And she holds up the two library books that you took out at the beginning of the school year from the library. They’ve just been like buried under dust that you like never got around to reading. Or did you read them? I don’t think you did, I
never described the books. – I don’t think I read them. Yeah, no. – Go ahead and make a
roll for panic attack. (Siobhan and Emily laughing) – Six. Is that a six or a nine? They are next to each other and identical. Oh it’s a nine. – Okay. So it beats a 10? – No. – Okay. Do you add your wisdom modifier to it? – Oh my wisdom modifier, which is a wisdom saving
throw, so it’s yeah. – [Brennan] Yes. – So yeah, no 14. – Cool. You manage to calm yourself, but yeah, these two wildly overdue
books that you haven’t read are there in your home. – Oops! – You see that she says, “All right, I’m just going
to borrow these ones. “Thank you.” – No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Borrow the ones that aren’t library books. – “All right, here.” She gives you the library books, takes some of your divination books, like your home textbooks and heads off. Those books, which I
assume Adaine cracks into as soon as possible. The two books are the Aons of Solace. The information in that
book, as you sort of burn through it, is that Solace was at one time a human monarchy, who’s royal family was connected through blood and marriage to
the royal family of Highcourt. Kind of explaining the relationship there. However, Solace was
conquered some centuries ago by Kalvaxus, Emporer of the Red Waste, of whom the Nightmare King and the Lords of the Necromikron were mere pawns, and Kalvaxus laid Solace to waste. However, Alexandria the 12th, the House of Tilering, Queen of Solace and soul surviving member
of the royal family gathered her strongest allies and defeated Kalvaxus in combat. Solace was thus liberated,
and shortly thereafter the monarchy was disbanded,
and the first council of chosen was formed. The elven oracle, Alaman Thindrial spoke with Alexandria after
they defeated Kalvaxus, and was to return if there
were ever to be trouble. – One more time. (everyone laughing) – Yeah, Adaine seems a little
confused by some of that. – It’s just some history, isn’t it? – It’s some history. Yeah, “Solace was thus liberated, “so Alexandria defeated Kalvaxus, “Solace was thus liberated. “Shortly after they defeated Kalvaxus, “the monarchy was disbanded and the first “council of chosen was formed
as the foundation of Solace.” – Sorry, the monarchy was
Kalvaxus was the monarch? – No, Kalvaxus was the demon from the Forest of the Nightmare King. That was worst than the
Forest of the Nightmare King. – Yeah, okay. – Kalvaxus, Emporer of the Red Waste. Yeah, it says that the
monarchy was disbanded. So Alexandria was victorious,
and after her victory, the monarchy was disbanded. – And she was a human, right? – She was a human. – [Siobhan] There was a human. – And you see there is a painting in the book, like an illustration, of the first council of chosen of Solace, which is Langston Thistlefarthing, Moores Von Zvaywild, Annabelle Troph, Lireal Celengrove, Coleasure Rockboot. And you see behind the elven oracle, Elamen Thindrial, there’s
a slight attribution. You see that there is a young, handsome looking wizard,
and you see it says, “Secretary and paramore to
the oracle, Arthur Aguefort.” – How old was professor Aguefort? – Well you read Aguefort’s
biography right after that. – The spicy one? – The really spicy one. It is hard to get through. It reddens your cheeks
more than a couple times. You see that it’s honestly not a very hopeful, historical text. He doesn’t put dates, and he only uses first names for people. So it’s sort of like a memoir, it’s like a spicy memoir
more than anything. There’s a bunch of weird jokes in it. He does a good description
of a lot of magic, and you’re excited. You get to the portion on divination, like what is Arthur Aguefort
to do with divination? You get there and you
see one of the lines is, “The strongest of all
divination, of course, “is the art of prophecy. “You don’t have to say about prophecy, “chuck ’em in the bin!” (Brennan laughing) Phonetically spelled out. And then parenthesis,
“This is not a joke”. – You should chuck prophecies in the bin? Have we had a prophecy? There was that oracle
that died in the boat. Maybe in Aguefort’s bin there’s something that we should look in? – As Adaine grapples with that, we’re going to cut over to
downtown to Seacastor Manor. – [Emily] Oo! – Fabian’s getting ready for school. Looking great, maybe got some nice cuts and bruises from the field. Life is good, getting the hangman ready. You see that your father
Bill Seacaster comes out holding a giant sack of gold. He’s got the pirate coat on. You see there’s a thin, reedy looking human man in a dark suit. Sort of watery eyes and pale
blonde hair who walks out handing the sack over to Bill Seacaster. You see Bill says “Ah,
and very well Mr Hughes, “happy to do business with ya. “Ah, Fabian, my darling boy!” – Oh papa, good morning! Who’s your guest? – Mr Hughes, this is my boy,
Fabian Aramaris Seacaster. Captain of the Aguefort Owlbears. – Papa, but great Mr Hughes, I am captain. How do you do today? – You see that Mr Hughes says, “Very good, pleasure
to meet you young man. “My name’s Mr Hughes.” You see he says, “Well,
all being said and done, “Captain Seacaster, young Mr Seacaster, “I’ll be on my way.” Your dad looks at you and goes, “That’s right, Captain Seacaster.” You see he looks over
at you, squints his eye, looks at the retreating
business man and says, “Not Mr Seacaster, Captain
Seacaster as well!” – Papa, what business were
you doing this morning? – Hm? – [Lou] What business were you up to? – The gentlemen Mr Hughes a representative of a bank down Bastion City way, and he was contacting me–
– Oh fantastic. – For some work in my retirement. – Oh, that sounds lovely. That’s a nice way to start the day. – What can I say, retirement’s getting a little bit done. (Brennan and Lou laughing) Well, off I am to dust
up on the old skills. You have a wonderful day
at school there, young man. – You show ’em, papa! – And he walks back into Seacaster Manor. – Great. – A few days after that, Detective Gukgak comes over for dinner
at the Abernant home. Couple of hours before that happens, you see that Aelwin is looking like kind of like a little
bit like in her thing where she gets really prim and proper, and very like respectful, when she’s like under a lot of stress. So she goes like, “Mommy, daddy, “I am so sorry I have
to skip dinner today. “I’m out with a friend doing
a little bit of studying. “These finals are coming up, “and I’m worried I won’t
get a perfect score, “so I must away, I’m afraid.” – I’ve gotten perfect
scores in all of my tests. – What’s that disemboweling a gremlin? – I cast ray of sickness
on her. (laughing) – You cast ray of sickness. She resists the spell. “All right, quite enough, thank you.” The door opens and you see that Penelope Everpetal is at the door. You see that Aelwin goes over and says, “Penelope” and she sees
that Penelope says, “Oh my God, your house is so cute!” They kiss on each other’s cheek. Aelwin says “Tata!” – Why are you studying with
somebody from my school? You hate my school. – You see that Penelope
looks over and says, “Because I’m a great sorceress.” – Why are you studying with a sorceress? You’re a wizard. – You see that Aelwin says, “Maybe when you’re a
little older, you’ll learn. “Tata!” – I think she’s sneaking out! – You see that your mother says, “Aelwin sneaking out? “Never, she’s a good girl.” At that precise moment,
the doorbell rings again, and you see that Detective
Gukgak walks into the home accompanied by Gilear. You see the two of them walk in. You see that Gilear walks
up to your father, says– – This is not what I meant
when I said bring an elf. – “Mr Abernant, my name is Gilear Faeth.” You see that your father says, “Oh, a wood elf, very well, take a seat “at the breakfast nook.” Gilear says “Yes, I’ve come to accompany “a sort of elven intermediary as “Detective Gukgak’s questions concern “some matters of culture. “By the way, do you have any food here? “I didn’t manage to
eat before I got here.” You see that Sklonda kind of looks up at him and says, “Yeah, we
just had a couple of questions. “This is sort of something
I wanted to talk about. “As quickly as possible,
my case is actually “probably gonna be shut
down by the end of the week, “but we just have some sort of follow up “questions for you as this thing “sort of moves over to the council.” She proceeds to talk about Daybreak and some other different stuff. Talks about the tea, palimpsests, Zayne Darkshadow, the
association with DJ Brains was also like an accomplice
in this whole thing. She talks about the fact that Coach Daybreak was found to be responsible for the attack on Biz Glitterdew and the murder of Zayne Darkshadow. She has like a file, they recovered Zayne Darkshadow’s body, they found it and did a whole thing with it. And you hear talking, you see that your father says, “Adaine, why don’t “you run along upstairs?” – I cast clairvoyance in a place that my parents cannot see it, because I assume that they can see the ethereal plane. – Hell yeah. – And listen in on the
conversation upstairs. – Rad. You actually regain your
ray of sickness spell with your new divination ability. You see that she says, “So the main thing “we’re tryna understand is, first of all “the conjuration of that corn monster “shouldn’t have been able to happen. “There’s a ward against
that, there’s a book “in the restricted section of the library “that is enchanted to prevent conjuration. “Watches and wards should have prevented “that conjuration from occurring.” He says, “Well, I certainly don’t know “anything about Aguefort’s
defensive capabilities, “however if what you’re saying is true “that there was an attack on the girl, “or attempted attack on Kristen Applebees, “that would have been an act
of paditional contradoxy.” You see that Detective Gukgak says, “Yeah, well starting an apocalypse”, and you see he says,
“Well, that’s debatable “whether it would have
started an apocalypse. “That’s a religious theory
that may not be true. “Gods like to claim that apocalypses “are happening because it
revs up interest in the faith. “You tell people that something’s always “going to be available,
there’s not an urgency on it, “so you have sort of,
you know, eschatology “for people to come and get excited about “the world ending, and the
world’s not going to end. “Paditional contradoxy is an element “of the treaty between
Solace and Highcourt. “When Solace came under the jurisdiction “of the Council of Chosen,
much of the human clergy “was left in Solace, in what was “a semi-theocratic state. “Part of Highcourt not going to war “with the fledgling nation was built “into the treaty, which his that the soul “of any chosen of the sun God would “never occur on Selesion soil. “An act of paditional
contradoxy would countermand “that treaty, and likely insight a war.” You see that she says, “Huh. “And do you know anything about the death “of the elven oracle?” You see he says, “No, I can’t say I do.” He says, “I know the Cerulean went down “and she was aboard, terrible tragedy.” You see that she, you
hear Detective Gukgak say, “Yeah, my husband was an operative “of the state department
when he was alive, “and was assigned to that, so sorry “you don’t know anything more. “Thanks for your time.” And you can see that Detective Gukgak gets up and leaves. – Oh God. I get on the weird
religious messaging service. – Prayer Chain? –
– Prayer Chain. Prayer Chain, because I’m like this, I don’t think that my parents can be like monitoring And I’m like “Guys, some
(beep) just went down “and I think I maybe
like, remember the case “that we were doing and we forgot about, “but it’s still happening? “There is stuff happening, and I think “that it’s, oh my God, we
need to meet up right now. “Let’s go get ice cream.” – The rest of you guys
are actually elsewhere. You guys got an invitation
from Ostentatia Wallace for a dope house party. – What?! – You guys got an invitation– – Ostentatia? – Ostentatia Wallace sent
you guys a dope invite. – [Lou] Yes! – She invited everybody but me? – I got one? – Gorgug got one as well. – Yeah, you’re popular now. When I got the invitation, I was like, “Yo, do you need anyone to play?” – Oh you see she says, “Oh that would be awesome,
you could play if you want. “You could like set up in
the backyard and like play.” – Yeah, I’m definitely gonna do that. – You see, you guys get there. You guys arrive at the house, it’s 69420 Spell Channel
Lane in Clearbrook. – Sick.
– So jealous. – [Brennan] You guys see that– – 69420? – Yes. – Okay. (laughing) – You guys see. (everyone laughing) You guys see–
– I was too late, I was looking for a clue in that. (everyone laughing) – You guys get there and you see it’s a party that’s being thrown by the Hudol kids. So the Hudol Hellions are throwing a party for the Aguefort Owlbears
because they forfeited the season and it’s the first time Hudols won. – Okay. – Hudol’s where your sister goes, right? – Yes. – Do we get a chance to chat? – I bet she’s at that party. – Are we– – Do we get the chat from–
– Is Ada not there? – Ada is not there yet. You guys are at the party, you see the kid who’s the host of the
party comes up to you. You see he goes, “Hello, my
name is Percival Nevilleslime. “I’m the quarterback
of the Hudol Hellions.” – He’s the quarterback? – Welcome to my house party. – Hello, comrade. (laughing) – Very well, from one athlete to another, so sorry about the loss of your coach. – Yeah, well I killed him myself. – Well, bully for you. There are some tables with beer pong set up in the backyard. There is a cake of like Bastion and a pool which you may
feel free to jump in. Perhaps we will skinny dip later. – What? – All weird looking dudes. House part is all weird looking dudes. – Maybe I won’t do that. – As you guys are there
though, you guys see that a woman walks into the
party, the first woman you guys have seen since you’ve been here. She walks in, she’s
got like a peach shirt, like tied up to show her
midriff and denim shorts. It’s like beautiful, elven young woman with like long hair, kind of braided. She opens the door, walks in. You see the guy, Percival
says, “Ah, you’re here.” She grabs a bottle of liquor, smashes it over his head, hand trips the liquor into her mouth, goes. (Brennan slurping) “I came here to (beep)!” – Oh my God.
– Is she– – Oh my God, hell yeah! – Party is getting started, bam! A bunch of (beep) Aguefort
cheerleaders appear just like gorgeous women with like flowing hair, and their eyes are glowing. They just walk into the party. You see a person with a bloody nose goes, “Wonderful, wonderful,
the party has started!” – I’m pinching my leg so hard because that’s what I do when
I’m overwhelmed sexually. (everyone laughing) – You see that she looks at you, Riz and says, “You’re a funny little man. “You ever played knifey fingers?” – That sounds terrifying. – What, are you a little (beep)? – Oh, I love you! (everyone laughing) – She walks right up to you, grabs the back of your head and plants a kiss on your mouth. – Oh, I go just as hard right there. – Yeah! – Make an insight check. – Yeah, I also wanna
make an insight check. – I got a 16. – This is the craziest
person you’ve ever seen. – I got a 27. – You see that she fully dips you, like takes you into like the dip position, pulls your shirt down,
pulls a little baggy of dragon spice out, pours
it on your chest and woo! “All right, this is a Hudol party “so I’m going to set the rules. “First of all, one person
invisible at all times. “If you manage to stab
them, they have to drink. “Let’s do this!” – You aren’t–
– That’s the only rule? – You aren’t Adaine’s sister, are you? – Oh, you’re one of
Adaine’s little friends. – Wait, are you Adaine’s sister? – Aelwin Abernant, in the flesh. – Oh, you just kissed Adaine’s sister! – (beep) yes! – You can’t do that do a friend. – We’re gonna cut back real quick to, we’re gonna come back
to the Abernant home. You look and see Aelwin’s
door open to her room that you’re not allowed to go in. – I (beep) sneak (beep) in that room. – You see in the center of her room, go ahead and make a detect magic or make an arcana check. (Siobhan groaning) – 11? – You snoop around, tossing and turning stuff over each other. You see a spell open of enchantment spells to a spell called “Modify memory”. You also see a small thing in her closet, buried in the back of her closet. There is a small model of a ship, a little wooden ship called The Harpy. And you see that around it are runes covered all the way
around this little thing, that are evocation storm runes. – The Harpy, didn’t someone die? – Wasn’t that the spell,
wasn’t that the ship that the oracle went down in? – Yeah. – The ship the oracle went down in was called the Cerulean. – This is a different ship? That little (beep). I knew she was bad! (Brennan laughing) – You start to get texts from people you knew at Hudol showing your sister making out with Fabian. – Oh my God, I’m gonna
(beep) kill everybody. – Everybody?! – I feel like I would definitely text Adaine to come to this party, because Riz is no longer having fun at high school since that dream. – I run downstairs, I
show them the picture of my (beep) sister at a party, and then I run after. – “Well, it could have been doctored.” (everyone laughing) You rush away– – Hate my parents. – You get to the party,
it is (beep) going off. These like cheerleaders are everywhere. – Am I playing my bass? – You’re playing your
bass in the backyard. – Can I ask, the one tool proficiency to be playing a basic drum beat? – Yes, absolutely.
– Yeah! – [Brennan] Cool. So you joined in the band. – We have a band (beep)! (Emily laughing) (Brennan beatboxing) – You’re there doing your thing. You see Kristen, one of the cheerleaders comes up to you at this party, and she goes, “Hi, I’m Fiona.” – So? – What? – What? – What? – I’m sorry, I’m wasted right now. What did you say? – You’re cute. – Stop it. – Hi, I’m Fiona. – Hi, I’m Kristen. – Tell me more about that. – “I am… “Oh my gosh, hey!” And I pretend to wave
to someone behind her. – Another cheerleader sees you waving, comes over and says, “Hi, I’m River.” – Hi River. Okay. Wait, what’s crazy, you guys, crazy party, you guys look bored. – What? – I just went in the opposite direction. (Ally groaning) – Tell me more about that. – Okay. Hey. Do you guys wanna do body shots? – Stop! Tell me more about that. – Are they robots? – Wait, you just said that. – Aw! – [Emily] They’re (beep) fake. – Do you wanna make out? – “You’re cute.” So she starts making out
with you at the party. So you see all these weird sort of nerdy, these like wizard athletes, and these like giant Aguefort cheerleaders
walking around. Everybody make a perception check. – Am I there yet? – I don’t need a perception check– – [Brennan] You bust in the door. – These people are. – 15. – 22.
– 15. – 21. – Just a nine.
– 12. – I’m concentrating on my beat. – I really just wanna try and make out with the woman some more. – Aelwin looks over to you and says, “All right, necromancy. “I’m going to put a death
spell in this bottle, “all right, and then we’re
gonna spin the bottle “and whoever it points at has to take it. “How does that sound?” – I reach out and spin the bottle. (bottle clattering) – I just furiously tugging
at Fabian, like don’t. – I just look at her dead in the eye, just like I (beep). – She goes like, “You’re a
nasty little (beep) freak.” (everyone laughing) – I’m gonna try and find a similar bottle and slight of hand and switch them. – Make a slight of hand check? – Okay. I pretend to like fall
over while I’m grabbing Fabian and switch ’em. Slight of hand, only an 11. – You go, the bottle (beep) smashes on the ground, and a skull made of ash and smoke goes and flies out the window, and she goes “Party foul!” You’re a little–
– Hi, hi. (everyone laughing) 16. – She says, “Where’s
that little goblin bitch? “Party foul!” – I’ll find him. – She says, “You’re that’s
pirate son, aren’t you?” – Yes I am. – Gonna get keel hauled tonight, how do you feel about that? – I can’t wait. – You see, she says, “Give me one second “to go powder my nose again. “God I love just (beep) letting loose.” (Brennan yelling) You see that she walks out of here. – I’m just furiously texting Adaine. – Adaine, you burst in through the door. – Where the (beep) is she? – Make a perception check
again, just you two. (dice bouncing) – I am gonna use my 19. – [Brian] 15. – Use your 19?
– Yeah. – You see a residual of your sister going up the staircase, of like magic going up the staircase. – I cast dispel magic on her. – Oh you don’t see her right now. – Oh I don’t see her, great, then I (beep) run up after her. – Are you following? – [Brian] Yeah. – You guys run up, you get to this door. The door’s locked as you get up there, but you hear the noise of her talking to Ostentatia on the other side. – Okay, well let’s listen. – Shall we listen in, yeah. – You hear “Listen, it’s just a little “bit of divinatory magic,
don’t be a square Ostentatia.” Ostentatia goes, “Okay, I just don’t know “this Hudol stuff super well, “and I don’t know, can you
just take my word for it?” “I would love to be able
to take your word for it, “but we just want to make sure.” Make an arcana check. (dice rattling) – (beep), 12. – A spell you don’t
recognize, a unique spell, something crafted by your sister is cast. You hear her say, “Oh goody,
you were telling the truth. “Goodbye Ostentatia.” – I break it–
– I break down the door, I use freeze–
– Bust in the door. – To freeze the door lock open. – You raise frost, go ahead and make a dexterity check
to get through the door. – Okay. (dice bouncing) Just dexterity? – [Brennan] Yep. – Okay, 19. – Click, you click the door open. You rush in, you see Aelwin holding a crystal palimpsest in her hand. – You (beep)! – [Brian] You (beep)! (everyone laughing) (whooshing) – Ostentatia is sucked
into the palimpsest, she looks, whips to see you. – I punch her in the face. – I want everybody to roll initiative. – Yeah! – Hell yeah. – 23. (beeping) – That’s all for this
week on Fantasy High. Tune in next week as it’s
sister versus sister. Let’s get it on. – I’m gonna kill my sister! (everyone laughing) I’m gonna tell her on you so bad you’re gonna be grounded forever. – Not if I kill you
and your friends first. – I’ll run into the pool to get on fire. – I’m going to drive the hangman straight down that central hallway. (Lou yelling) (Brennan growling) – Bam, bam! Smash into the beer pong table. House party, dude! – You might get permanently killed. – [Brennan] Riz, bam, hits
the middle of the deck. – Yes, I’m (beep) insane! You made me (beep) insane! (Brennan laughing) – That’s it for this
chapter of Dimension 20, but wait, what hearkens on the wind? (Brennan cawing) Speak to me, bird. More full episodes of’s own Dimension 20 available with a free trial that you could sign up for today? Hopefully our viewers are brave enough to answer the call. (bird cawing) There he goes. This sports party has some
unlikely sports goers, but a group of Aguefort
cheerleaders have showed up along with Aelwin Abernant.

95 thoughts on “Cool Kids, Cold Case (Ep. 11) | Fantasy High

  1. i love this but can you guys fix the censoring to something less aggressively ear abusing than that, 5000% louder than the rest of the audio, beeping.

  2. The marathon continues! Strap in for the D20: Fantasy High FULL SEASON MARATHON! From today through 9/23 we will be airing all of D20: FANTASY HIGH! Subscribe and ring the bell to get notified!
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  3. May I suggest to Galier some Tomato sandwiches. 1. it's incredibly easy to grow tomatoes or buy them. 2. Bread is also increadibly easy to make or purchase. I grew up with very little money and growing a garden in the back yard helped a lot during summer. Tomato, lettuce and mayo toasted sandwiches. Or toasted cucumber with butter, salt and pepper sandwich. Also cheap macaroni is easy to come by, grab a can of tomato juice and boil yourself some tomato soup. Throw in some crackers for fun.

  4. I never realized how much i love these characters, i literally havent watched fantasy high since it started and im like straight back into the story

  5. At the guided coin I felt like I could here Brennan panicking because something specific was meant to happen there and they were about to leave without buying anything. Lmao.

  6. 1:15:02 Maybe I've been watching too much JoJo's Bizzare Adventure, but that guitar riff bring played reminds me of Roundabout < To Be Continued

  7. '… And there's a little winky face.'
    "I have to go."
    Ah yes, the purest of lesbian emotions. Utter fear when a cute girl might be flirting with you.

  8. I love that Gil's charisma is so low that on a nat 20, he gets "I found mildew in one of my shoes" 😂 Out of curiosity, Brennan, what IS Gil's charisma? -10? lmao

  9. to be honest hope there is gonna be 4 seasons of Fantasy High one for Freshmen year, one for Sophmore Year, Junior year, and senior year

  10. God, I feel like, high on this show right now (Fantasy High, if you will). We got an INSANE amount of information this episode!! Loving it, but also my brain is fried like a potato chip.

  11. Thank you for making my Friday magically hilarious. Also… She bought a used magic jacket that contains potentially millions for 45 gold!?

  12. I really hate that these are censored. The beeping is really hard to listen to, especially because it's quite loud. Fantastic series though, i love this one for sure. (Edited for spelling)

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